The Great European Toilet Debate


The Great European Toilet Debate

Straight Drop Toilet Bowl versus Ledge Drop Toilet Bowl (and it’s impact on Our Society).

Sorry if you found this whilst searching dirty jokes.

I will own up and hopefully save you valuable time. This is a piece about my hatred of the straight drop hole design. My preference is for the ledge and this is my explanation why.

When I first came across the ledge toilet, it was a shock. Having lived in England until I was ten years old, I had always assumed that the toilet bowl was a universally bad design that the whole wide world lived with the only other option being a hole in the floor.

The German toilet bowl features a ledge for you to deposit your aberration on. It gobsmacked me when I first saw it. I remember mother being horrified. In my opinion, and I have now spent over forty-eight years sitting on toilets and would consider myself an expert in the field, the ledge toilets are the better. The German toilet gives an all-round better toilet experience.

As I now live in the UK my toilet is straight drop toilet bowl design, so I deal with splash back daily. It freaks me. It annoys me more, possibly, because I know there is a better toilet out there. A more efficient toilet, a better designed toilet for today’s living.

The ledge enable’s one to either inspect and flush or just flush one’s excrement without looking. I preferred to inspect and flush, as this way I feel abreast about what was going in and out of my body. Another pro, for me at least, was that there was never any ‘splash back’. Splash back is something I continue to hate.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with ‘toilet splash back’. Let me explain. This is the action of the stagnant toilet water displacing as your poo goes into it. Usually this water is clean. However, it can be, on occasion, used. As your new poo deposit drops down the water splashes up. This can be felt by the person sat on the loo who deposited the poo. So, depending on the water in the bowl you could have dirty waste water or water containing detergent fluids splashing back up onto one’s fufu.

Now, I feel I need to interrupt myself to explain that I did some research. I have been made aware that not everyone has this ‘splash back’. Also, that maybe my poos are extra dense and that is making the splashback possible. I do not know. I need more diversity in my audience.

So why is it important to view your own poo? Should it really be looked at or just flushed away like the bad problem it smells like? Or could our very British attitude of covering up a mistake and being in denial of causing a problem to be aiding the continual preference for the toilet that doesn’t really show you what you have done?

The National Health Service in the UK like to use a diagnostic visual aid called The Bristol Stool Chart. This is a chart showing different colours, shapes and sizes of poo. They use this chart to help patients and doctors discuss results of treatments and medications. For example, if a patient had hard, small, round stools before treatment and then softer, long stools after treatment then the treatment did influence the bowel.

For this diagnostic tool to work one must be able to view one’s poo. My argument here is that is that with an SDTB it is extremely difficult to view the excreta. Once the poo lands in the water it tends to disappear back behind the U-bend, perhaps showing a glimpse but this is no indication of what the rest of the poo is like or whether there is blood or mucus present. Most of us don’t realise we have blood or mucus in our poo unless we are inquisitive enough to look at the toilet paper after we have wiped.

So, could our toilet bowl’s be making us sicker as a nation? I had a quick look at the figures and couldn’t find evidence to show this exactly, but it did look like there could be a percentage or two difference in colon morbidity rates, surely there is a point to be made here by someone who is better at maths than I?

Regardless, there is still the splash back. Detergent sat in the bottom of the SDTB can easily splash back up onto you. If it is bleach down in the water, one could end up with some lighter strands of colour amongst your pubic hair or maybe a chemical burn. I hate pooing into detergent. My attempts to wiggle my poo as it comes out, so it slides down the inside of the loo rather than the ‘big drop’ that would cause the unavoidable, to me, splash, usually fail. I am familiar with the toilet brush. I clean up after something I cannot see, have not seen and will never see. I only know the poo was there because of the trail of destruction left by its journey.

So how easy is it to get one of these ledge toilets? One of these toilets which stops splash back and makes one feel like one is dealing with one’s health? Not easy. They seemed to have fallen out of favour and one article I read told me that only older properties in Germany have these ledge toilets nowadays… How sad.

It seems people prefer not to know what is coming out of them. Most people, it seems, would rather deal with the splashback and maybe even deny that the splashback happens, than look at what they did.

I’m not a plumber so unfortunately will be living with my straight drop toilet bowl for the foreseeable future. And, as I also did a search online to buy one of these ledge toilets and found zero, I suspect I’m on my own in wanting one. Meaning, I will continue to long for a toilet without splashback and wonder what this all says about our society.