I sit and try to stay in one mind, one thought

Try to focus on the cry inside without dryness seeping in and wrinkling the scene

To work in between the sighs, no merry-go-rounds

Just

roller-coaster

rides

I scroll, glancing at the offers today…

“Celibacy. Forgiveness. Am I gay?

Will the world survive me?”

I’d be happy if it surprised me.

The day stretches long before, through many open doors.

Who shall I choose to be today, to take my reality away?

Which one will last the course and give me some release?

From the pining underneath to belong to something, some cause, someone.

Give me something to believe in…

Hold on.

Hold on.

Hold on.

By Samantha Harris 11th September 2019

This poem is about my so called ‘personality disorder’.