There are many stories a prostitute could tell you. They would range from bizarre to terrifying and everything in between. What you don’t hear often about is what happens after leaving the world’s oldest profession.
Prostitution stories fall into many brackets. Newspapers could be interested if a prostitute sold a story about a politician but generally papers wouldn’t run a story on the day to day problems and maybe people wouldn’t want to hear about them.
What most of us think about when discussing prostitution is women, sex, fidelity, risk, slavery, money and usually drug use maybe some trafficking.
There is corruption with some professions and prostitution is obviously affected. From girls being forced into prostitution to boys being abused from youngsters and going on to sell their charms, there is a dark side to prostitution. But, for the most part, prostitutes will be willing participants at time of purchase. They simply use their wares to gain money.
One of the things which I will touch upon is that human bodies wear out and feel pain. Many prostitutes turn to drugs to dull that physical pain as well as to block out the emotional affects of their work. One woman, working in Brighton, East Sussex told me they are called ‘hookers’ because once you start working you get locked in this cycle of pain and denial.
It is a lonely profession with no guides or help lines. The client is the only comfort. So, those that manage to get out alive and relatively unscathed will try to put prostitution behind them. The society in which we live does not allow the discussion of sexual exploits so any knowledge gained into human behaviour will be kept hidden.
Generally prostitutes do not lay it out on a CV. Pardon the pun. If asked how they got through college or started their little business, a well rehearsed lie will be told. Asked how a couple managed to get the deposit together for the house they just purchased and it could never be admitted that two years working as a high class escorts got them there.
All things are not forgiven so social stigma dictates that a prostitute forgets they were ever a concubine and fits into normal life. You could be standing next to one in a queue right now and never know. You may even have family members who currently advertise their delights online and it is family ties which can be the most embarrassing.
I’d like to tell you a story about what could happen after prostitution stops. From horrifically embarrassing to terribly sweet the experiences of a prostitute once they’ve retired can be just as entertaining as their lives when they were working in the sex industry for their wages. I have changed Trevor’s name.
Trevor had joined yahoo dating application and found a lovely man. He told his new boyfriend about his past. Deciding to tell him quite quickly after they’d met and Trevor was glad he had. They were able to discuss it and move on with their future.
They enjoyed each other so much. So, as couples do, they wanted to make it official and meet the friends. Their social circles became one. Trevor and Mark were a happy couple inside and out of their home. Then a year into the relationship Mark suggested that Trevor should meet with his family.
The next Christmas holiday the couple were invited to stay at a cottage Mark’s parents were renting out for the season in Wales. Mark was delighted that his wonderful lover was going to be meeting his Mum, Dad and siblings. They drove to Wales in a new car, hired just for the occasion. All went really well, Mark’s mother seemed made up that Mark was happy and the father, a little more reserved, was being polite.
On Christmas Eve, Mark’s brother arrived with his wife and three children. They bundled into the cottage with their red faces and laughter. Greetings all around and introductions. Trevor’s face dropped when he saw Martin but recovered lightening fast.
Mark’s brother, Martin, had been a client of Trevor’s for a year in fact the brother had been besotted with him and Trevor had to refuse him as a client to avoid the embarrassing departures. Trevor and Martin recognised each other immediately but neither we’re able to say anything. They spent a week eating and celebrating without acknowledging that they’d known each other previously.
Trevor was consumed with guilt about it. His relationship with Mark was built on trust. He was keeping a massive secret by not telling him but what could be achieved by being honest? A married man paying to have sex with a prostitute was the normal client. Sitting around a table eating with his wife and children after the event was not normal.
Martin asked questions about Trevor’s work and appeared genuinely interested, as anyone would be in their brother’s partner. Trevor describes Martin as ‘being all over his wife’. Declaring that the cheater was making great strides at being the doting husband. Trevor recalls just getting through the week, saying the interactions with his perspective sister-in-law were cringe worthy in the extreme.
The relationship with Mark then became tainted in Trevor’s mind. He was deceiving his lover and found it excruciatingly difficult to live with. Trevor tried hard to find a way around it, even suggesting they move abroad but Mark was close to his mother and started viewing properties near her. They carried on seeing each other for six months before Trevor finally called it off with Mark, saying he just didn’t love him anymore.
The break up devastated Mark and he tried to commit suicide by gassing himself in a car outside the property they’d viewed together. Thankfully, before losing consciousness, he’d called Trevor who then called an ambulance to his location and saved him. Trevor and Martin rallied around to get Mark committed into hospital while he recovered, still without talking about the past.
Mentally and emotionally the only thing Trevor could do for himself and Mark was to distance himself from the situation completely which is what he did. Eventually Trevor went on to find love with another who’s brother he hadn’t slept with.
His story is funny and heart breaking because Mark was his first love. He laughs when he tell’s me of how, when he’d first told Mark about his prostitution past, he’d asked him if he had any questions about it.
Mark had responded by asking one question, which was,
“Were you careful?”
This was, of course, a reference to HIV and AIDS, and using a condom. Trevor had responded that he had always been careful and that he’d always used protection. However, it seems, that there are some things you can’t prepare for.
I can see the irony.
Whilst there are many pitfalls to an experience it is those that you are unprepared for which are the events which leave you the most scarred.
Thanks for reading.
They say there are no new stories. I say, it depends who you listen to.