A pro-Israel group held a discussion three days ago that showcased its utter indifference to Palestinian lives. Israeli reporter Ohad Hemo told the Israel Policy Forum, an American Israel lobby organization, that after Israeli soldiers “easily” killed more than 40 Palestinians in the West Bank in two months, the army chief said, “This is not…
After Israeli snipers killed 40 Palestinians in 3 months, army chief said, ‘This is not right, relax’ — Mondoweiss
Inspired by a Zega & Evans song, released in the 1960s, called ‘In the Year 2525’.
The 2525 Pilgrimage by Samantha “unextraordinarybint” Harris
Centuries since Corona Virus Alpha hit Earth devastating our population, I sit here using a rusty blade, scraping marks in hope that I won’t be discovered by our monitors. We use this ancient fridge for storing clothing; working well for keeping moths out, my up-bringers and I sharing it. Now, it will bare these words for history.
At school, we’re told our ancestors used the fridges to keep carcasses fresh. It was a time when humans battled with each other, spoiling the planet with poisonous weapons. A time when people murdered Earth’s other inhabitants; selfishly eating animals, using them as a source of protein, they’d manufacture products from their carcases and enjoyed wearing animal skins, even using bones for medicinal broths and industrial glues.
I’ve never known a cold fridge. The harnessing of electrical power was outlawed for humans in 2050. For our safety, AI automatic droids maintain our planet’s electrical grids. Distribution and supply is strictly rationed to Necessary For Life organisations and not squandered by people.
I’m told my ‘need to create’ is an escalation of my illness, so I must be cautious. I’m a committed New Beginning Believer but the evilness of bad mental health remains. Managing to physically scrape one word a day has taken discipline. My addiction craves more, risking raising my heart rate to a detectable level.
Weeks after the Corona Virus Zeta variant attacked the planet in June 2030 a cohort study showed how vulnerable humans became when out of their homes. As a major medical discovery it saved billions of lives but had not been welcomed by all. Deadly violent protests spread across the world faster than the virus, destroying cities and towns, cutting utilities and leaving land scorched with fire.
It is history now, how it was necessary for AI to oversee human health for The Common Good and the protection of our species and our solar system. Our homes, for our safety, had to become human cages.
Robots now distribute our care, limiting human error. Armoured vehicles travel streets delivering water tablets and nutrition, monitoring our vital signs so we rarely starve if we are viable. Thankful, we watch through holes we’ve piped into the hives on our windows.
Foxes, snakes, sheep, wolves and deer roam outside our homes on cracked tarmac. The grass verges, left to grow naturally, encouraging wildlife, are now host to the genetic insects released to combat stray humans carrying disease. Building nests and hives around us they are able to monitor movements keeping AI informed of our well being.
State television transmits a basic program service with special entertainment on Saturday nights. Generally television informs us of how the latest health programme progresses, which locations are expecting the Build Back Better vaccination robots and the daily birth rate over death rate graph.
International Communications are impossible for most since the satellites were, for our safety, reconfigured using the same space drones that humans had invented for mining exploration. Anti vaccination terrorists had to be stopped from using the networks to organise resistance and had been blocking The New Beginning Faith broadcasts.
Automatic trucks collect human waste weekly from each street moving it to a collection point where it’s transported by crane into giant airships run on biofuel. These craft transport the sweet smelling load to the ocean where it is released for the marine life to feed upon. Diet, controlled by AI, allows us to now produce nutrient rich waste which is useful until our deaths.
Few natural humans, other than royalty, can safely move around outside. We don’t have the genetic makeup. Crane drivers have outside protective freedoms. Having a skill AI can’t master, they bare witness to how the Build Back Better system is working. I’m assigned a crane operator as my lover. I pray we’ll be fruitful.
Gratefully, I’m able to leave home once in a lifetime. I’ve been researching my Life Pathway Journey on the battery run Ethernet computer. It will be so exciting to see The London Eye. One has to be patient as the current female pilgrimage age is the first month after one’s fifty-fifth birthday.
I pray I will still be considered worthy.
The End.
Isolating for covid nineteen
All social distancing
It’s now twenty twenty-one
Another lock down has begun
Pfizer, Astra Zeneca and J & J
Motivated with shares and graphs
They wipe us away
Like fleas on an arse
Looking back to where to begin
I came across the story of Aspirin
Linked to Spanish Flu, who knew?
Pharma have us by the balls
Wanting funding for a new cause
Just how many more variants
Can really be found
In residents isolating, gone to ground?
We’ve vaccinated millions
Yet death figures soar
It takes no super sleuth
To unlock the cage
On Britain’s new,
Lab Rat Age.
The end.
Thanks for reading
copyright Samantha Harris (unextraordinarybint) January 2021
Don’t read any further if upset by injustice, neglect, poverty and perversion.
This be trigger city for some.
This is your last chance, I’m blunt but not coarse, I am going to discuss a terrible subject in the lightest possible manner.
Confusion.
When I was a child I was assaulted by an adult man (in the worst way). The most prominent symptom, apart from the physical pain was that of severe confusion. I became OCD as a result of trying to come to terms.
The whole thing was so completely and utterly at odds with everything I knew then, I was under ten years old and used to dolls, handstands and dresses. I went off dresses, handstands and dolls.
I’m fifty-one years old now. I love dresses now. Sod the handstands. It may surprise people to know that some actions are never forgotten – no matter how many other, lovely, consensual sexual moments one does experience.
If you were to get complacent and fool yourself, a flash back will remind you. Today I had one, it must have been ten years since the last. His face appeared when I was having wink. I decided to have an imaginary wiss on him. He went.
For a longest time, I thought along the lines of ‘why me?’ But then it became all about recovery, mainly because I have children. Many different pathways of recovery were tried.
I didn’t recover quickly because I was pushed towards forgiveness. No confrontation, no justice and no reasonable explanation. It took ages, as the confusion became anger, festered and grew to become depression.
How does forgiveness help? If no one is saying sorry, you can only forgive so much.
Attending lots of therapy – when my children were young, I needed to deal with my anger and more recently, I started writing this online journal and some books to help. It really does help too. Whether it helps you or not is another matter…
These days, I feel that I am better, adjusted as much as humanly possible. I’m able to think about what happened back in Widewell Woods with less emotion and I apologise if I cause any harm or painful memories to those reading this. I understand it’s place in my life story.
It does not define me, but it is part of me, unfortunately, a regret out of my hands.
There are no safe places for children if we don’t fully understand. I feel it is not just a sexual fetish with innocence, even ‘perceived innocence’ is not the full picture. Control plays a part. It is a form of soul capture…making an imprint on a person for life. The man who hurt me was playing god.
Perhaps this is why the church didn’t help me. They couldn’t play god any more with me…I’d worked out he wasn’t really there to protect us at all because anyone could come along and trump him.
Obviously, no assault or abuse is the same. I’m going to come out with something controversial and declare that there was nothing sexually charged about the scene of my sexual assault.
It was a moment of ruination.
He wanted to ruin a female life, he planned to ruin it and he had, but it hadn’t ‘satisfied’ him. I suspect he wouldn’t have been satisfied until he’d taken more but a disturbance didn’t give him time.
He wanted to ruin a girl – in order to ruin a woman.
He did succeed for a while, but something was able to absorb the hatred I had, not the confusion, just the hatred. God was my buffer. I thank the ideology for that much, begrudgingly.
No one else cared enough for it to be effective if I was angry at them. It was only the church who had appeared in my life, made me feel some promise and then let me down, that it was worth getting angry with in my child’s mind.
No one promised life would be another way, ever. Since living with Dad and step mum I knew a life of pain. God had promised happiness if I followed certain rules. I had followed his rules.
I could be justifiably angry with him.
The assault shone a light on other confusions. Things my step mother had said some years before. I’d started at school but was off sick. We had to go out. I’d upset her by slowing the process down. I was crying and she was pulling me about, putting my shoes on.
I said something to the effect that she was hurting me. The shoes were too small and they’d yet to be cut so that my feet could grow. This was a common thing for British families struggling in the 1970s. I had trouble with the buckles, they were too difficult for me to do up, she was angry.
In her defence, she was not my mother, I was yet to be diagnosed. Labelled stupid and clumsy because of the Elhers Danlos and extremely short sighted, it could not have been easy. I mean, it must have been frustrating for her.
It was horrifying for me, but I knew no different.
She spat her words at me,
“You should think yourself lucky, I could be shoving coat hangers up inside you.”
It was an odd thing to say to a five year old.
I had no idea of a vagina, only the vulva. I only knew the outside of my biological self.
My creative inners, ‘my vagina’, womb or ovaries were not on my radar. Biology is good like this, the female genitalia are not exactly accessible. I assumed she meant put coat hangers inside me via my belly button, that was, until Widewell, the man and the sexual assault.
In emotional health terms this is called ‘sexualization’. Children should not be sexualized early, it’s not healthy mentally, emotionally or physically. This is why we use terms like, the bird and the bees, the stork brought the baby and don’t discuss or do sexual things in front of children. We protect their innocence of creation.
The human act of copulation is not a child’s business. Children are just the result…
The man who assaulted me knew this. He knew he had no business going in my pants. I knew too and tried to stop him. It took him seconds to ruin my life, to change my perspective. In that moment, he set me apart from everything. He distanced me from my peers, my step mother, my father and just about everyone I knew.
How could a weak man gain control over strong, healthy and vibrant women other than to sabotage her as a child? This man is a coward, no more. A terminator of women…going back to a weaker point in their biological past to ruin them.
I know now he lacks the respect for women he should have, and his action is that of a misogynist.
I stayed fascinated with sex for decades, attempting to understand it’s dynamics. I can tell what desire is and what is hatred. I recognise love and respect and can see usage and control.
He was looking at my face when he hurt me. His was not a pretty face.
The man who assaulted me did not fancy me. He wasn’t attracted to me…he isn’t attracted to children. I’ll be very clear, he was into ruination, he wanted to destroy, to take my soul – his intention was only to hurt and cause pain.
He knew I was confused, he hoped it’d be hurting me forever, but it didn’t appear to make him happy. His brown, watery eyes were sad and angry as they looked into mine.
Gaining only sour gratification of his bitter hatred for women, he assaulted me, and then walked away. For all I know, back to his wife and children. Sorry, but it could be true – it’s all too late to do anything now and I didn’t do anything then.
The last human bone fuses for adulthood around thirty years old. I’m still confused at how females can be safely ready for child birth or penetrative sex beforehand.
Perhaps a doctor could explain it to me? Vets protect the youngsters from grown adult males in zoos.
Paedophiles are nothing more than human time travelling terminators, murderers of souls. They should not be given an audience at any level other than disgust. They should be kept away from society and not housed near families. I’d go as far to say that they should all be rounded up and put in Chinese style re-education camps until they change their views.
The End.
By Samantha “unextraordinarybint” Harris.
A small part of my own life story.
What is wrong with white people? This is aimed at white people in Europe not the States. I’m English and would also class myself as European. I voted to remain for Brexit.
How can white people not realise they may be a target for hatred? Because, in the same way my (white) ancestors had to scream out for help to London, most are not aware.
The media and social media only tell what it wants, but if you look you will find independent news outlets now giving out the very depressing news. Youtube is worth watching if you can circumnavigate the PR stuff, filters, sexist and racist search results.
Stabbing and shootings in towns up and down the country have increased dramatically during lockdown…they stopped collecting ethnicity as it was getting very obvious. In response, Far right activity rose by 4% to 8% of our countries total terrorist threat. This resulted in a news blackout of the ongoing attacks.
But, I want to talk about our health and the NHS, and a woman called Rano Bains.
Why should you be interested in what she says? Because she is Head of Equality and Diversity for many NHS Trusts and hospitals (national health service) in England. It is her words which drive policy, funding and training in our wards and universities.
Rano Bain’s words…
“The whiteness refers to white consciousness – the ‘silent’, pervasive, cultural norm that informs and shapes our racial ideology. Whiteness is constructed as a formless, empty cultural space that is neutral, natural and normative. Whiteness, because it is an unnamed, hegemonic position of privilege and power, becomes the point of reference for measuring others, unlike “blackness” which has been named in the language of white signification. Whiteness has defied scrutiny as it does not seem like a culture as everyone is apparently the same.”
hmmm…plain English would have been nice…..However, I will attempt to break it down.
Do white people know what other white people think? She makes it sound like we are plugged into an invisible big psychic cloud. Her claims of white consciousness of people in Russia, Israel, Poland being the same as white people in England, Germany or America are terrible.
It shows her racism immediately. The first line says that she is viewing white people from a position of suspicion and it is white people who declare racial identity, to her. Is Ms Bains the type of person who should be running our ‘equality and diversity’ departments?
Current serving Ministers have declared that white privilege has no place being taught in our schools, but are they aware that it is taught in our NHS to our healthcare assistants, nurses and doctors?
White people come lower down the humanity chart to many people in the media, the health care profession and education. This has to change. All lives matter all faiths matter, including those without faith – that doesn’t mean they make the rules.
When people are not offered the same facilities and services it is called discrimination. (eg. TB vaccine). When they are not warned of extra risks to them, (eg. flu vaccine) this is racism.
White people are the only race not afforded the indigenous land protections.
In this manner, the United Nations is racist.
My country – The United Kingdom of the British Isles, is a country RICH in culture and heritage. It is wrong to say we have none. To be frank it is racist to say white people have no culture.
Terms like ‘snowy peaks, and ‘the whiteness‘ are racist. They should not be allowed within training programs in our national health system. They should be discredited by academics within our schools and universities.
Explain to me why white people are criticized for holding positions in predominantly white citizenships or companies? How can that possibly be racist? But, it isn’t racist that African’s insist on their land being owned by black people? It isn’t racist that native American Indians have land that is just theirs?
If white people want their own space, it’s racist?
Explain why Christians can’t say they hate Islam? Both are bad, but Christians have become tolerant and are the standing religion in the UK along with paganism. Religion isn’t even a race but somehow it is being added to our ‘hate crime’ laws, originally designed to protect everyone. Soon I will be unable to say I hate religion!!!
This directly threatens our free speech and our security.
Explain why a black person (from anywhere) is on our national news talking about feeling hurt because she suspects racism? She suspects it was racism…? She may be getting hassled for all sorts of reasons to assume it is racism is not on. Because she is in a predominantly white country she declares racism, but she works within a predominantly non white environment in the NHS in London.
Regardless.
How is this national news when the same day people were stabbed, on UK streets, for being white? Another incident only covered at a local level, as all of these types of murders now.
Murder by colour code. If you are a white murderer or white child killer you will be plastered over the media, if you are black/brown/not English you may not even get arrested if your child dies unexpectantly unless the public pull the police up.
Explain why George Floyd is on BBC but Cannon Hinnant isn’t? Neither murder happened in Britain (BBC stands for British Broadcasting Corp).
I’m scared. I stand as someone who was attacked by people who were not of my colour. I am not imagining the hatred towards me. I’m verbally attacked when I leave my home by an awful Russian woman (white). I’m scared of the doctors and nurses no matter what colour they are, as many view me as spoilt immediately because I am English. White Irish ambulance staff can be especially mean. All white people are not the same!
As an English person I learnt a long time ago to lie about where I am from, but I will never again. I educated myself away from the white guilt, the same as I educated myself away from the Christian guilt and can now see it for what it is. Both are run for greed, envy, laziness, brainwashing and corruption.
I stand as someone who was born in Plymouth, Devon, England. The full history is not covered by the Americans EVER…they remain race blind on the slave trade history because of their own sordid history and because it suits certain people politically.
This lady, Rano Bains (no idea where she is from), has a nerve to say this of England with her Whiteness perspective. However, we are the most tolerant of countries. Perhaps she cannot see a long history or culture within our country, but surely this does not mean there isn’t one?
I read her pdf in 2018 and have been stewing since. I didn’t want to do a piece as I don’t want to add to a rise of hatred towards anyone but it seems I do need to defend myself and my life. A black lady is found online saying all white people are inbred and most of the comments underneath agreed…however, you will not be able to find it.
Search for any attack on a white person and google immediately takes you to black lives matter material unless you know the name of the victim and the date you will not find it on referenced on our news. Google is not relevant and neither is youtube.
White people are not the same, nor do we think we are the same. We are classed as white for measurement of resources for assurances to black and brown people to ensure that facilities are shared equally.
Also, we now appear to have strange advert quotas – air brushing blond people from TV, advertising, film and social media in Europe is also getting very tedious. European people are white. Get over it. Stop telling us we are racist.
White people are just people. We don’t deserve any more or any less than any other human. It is Rano Bain’s term, The Whiteness, that gave birth to many of my poems reflecting as The Blackness….ideally I wouldn’t be seeing the world in this manner. I never used to. But, this is obviously the idea, after all, you cannot capture a culture and it’s resources without upsetting a few people.
Our national anthem has come under attack. Us Brits will ignore it and will carry on with it but for the English (traitors), Americans, Indians, Pakistanis, Russians and African who called for it to be banned, please get a education by reading the following.
The history behind the British song Rule Britannia, UK national anthem.
In the 1600s the seas around Britain were ruled by North African Slavers(who were black). They boarded British ships and carried off the crews (whites) to be sold as slaves in Africa. The situation became so bad that fishermen wouldn’t put out to sea in case they were captured by African Slave Traders.
Between 1609 and 1616, 466 British ships were captured by Slave Traders in the English Channel, Irish Sea and North Atlantic, and the crews were sold into slavery. White crews.
Some other historical news stories from England include,
In 1625, sixty English people (white) who had taken refuge in a local church were dragged out, loaded up and taken off to Africa to be sold as slaves from Mount’s Bay in Cornwall
On 12 August 1625 the Mayor of Plymouth wrote to London for military help after 27 ships had been seized by North African Muslim Slave Traders in just 10 days.
In 1645, 240 people were seized as slaves in Cornwall.
White people – valued by other nations because of the colour of their skin for abuses in other countries. We didn’t value ourselves higher because of our skin they did because they wanted it.
One or two survived, made their way back to England and wrote of their capture, but most didn’t.
The situation only began to improve for Britain after the end of our English Civil War when the Royal Navy was built up under Oliver Cromwell.
By 1700, North African Slavers generally knew better.
It was in honour of this defence of our security, that in 1740, James Thompson wrote ‘Rule Britannia’.
Apathy will not help our children or our grandchildren. I stupidly did not go to the police over my own attack in Kings College Hospital but I did complain and I did go to my GP about my injuries so it is a matter of record. I also took photos of my injuries, they amounted to bruising.
People need to stop talking about racism as if white people are always responsible. Racists are everywhere and you cannot tell them by their colour.
Stop believing that because of colour you should have less and be grateful because you have nothing to feel bad about.
Stop believing that because of colour you should have more and other people owe you something.
The end.
Leave a comment if you like, I suspect this will be filtered out of google and bing search anyway.
Thanks for reading.
If anyone else can decode Ms Rano Bain’s words please enlighten me. Pardon the pun.
Over and over again we are told only some people can get certain diseases and other races cannot. Even if results come back indicating a blood disorder, sickle cell will not be tested for…maybe even rickets would not be picked up because of your childs genetic makeup…although they don’t know your child’s genetic makeup…they do that on sight, by name or nationality. They = Doctors.
Rickets is a disease where monitoring and treatment is being targeted towards non whites when every child is at equal risk. Here is a medical paper saying it isn’t just non whites who suffer from it…attempting to make racist doctors understand that white children get ill too.
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(14)60211-7/fulltexthttps://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(14)60211-7/fulltext
We’ve accepted racism and allowed it to enter our health professions. As a result Rickets is on the rise and many of our sick children go undiagnosed with painful diseases for lengthy periods.
We must call out racist papers and medical trials. If a drug is to be safe or a treatment, it must be safe for everyone. As genetically we are all different – not all white people are the same, not all black people are the same and there are billions of people inbetween.
Allopurinol – known to have vicious side effects in non whites is not usually prescribed to black folks in England, or shouldn’t be. It was given to me though and caused major rash and major gout attack.
But, much worse than that, I found this video. It doesn’t even warn against giving it to black people…
So, we are all at the mercy of this distrust and it is caused by the Pharma companies.
Please be cautious about any medication given to you and read the small print carefully.
Stay safe.
Thanks for reading.
I wonder how many other drugs are known to cause harm depending on your genetics?
So, while the world is looking at blood transfusions to fix the ‘covid19 nightmare’…this is going on.
The link above is for the youtube coverage of the NHS blood scandal which started in the late 1970s and continued – disgustingly- until the 1990s, accidently killing thousands including Anita Roddick who was The Body Shop founder.
It has taken forty years to get here and they have been investigating for some years now.
But was it really an accident?
I’ve been listening to the inquiry and it’s rather sickening. It’s more than sickening. It’s criminal.
At the time in the 1980s, 1990s, the patients’ questions were ignored, children were diagnosed and treated with large amounts of factor 8 after it was known to contain American prison drug users blood infected with the AIDs Virus.
After hours of questioning, the doctor did, when asked if he had anything to say, broke down and said, “It’s bad isn’t it, it shouldn’t have happened”.
Too right it shouldn’t have happened. Thousands lost their lives and children. No one lost their job.
How he did not lose his job is astounding.
Yet, here we are again. Using blood products supposedly safe for use in covid19 patients if the originator has recovered from covid19…is the blood being super heat treated to make sure no other viruses or diseases are present?
If you listen to this inquiry you’ll realise that there is no guarantee of that.
Thanks for reading.
Are you fam?
Would you know?
Who I am?
DNA will say.
We are in an age
When all alliances
Will go astray.
To find commonality
In humanity
I need to tell you
Hatred
Is distraction man
Love is
Bringing up the rear
No priority
Re-arranged here.
Fin
By Samantha Harris
Trying to keep patients safe in the NHS.
The Day I Met My Mum. Short real life read.
I was twenty two years old, married but separated and living in Brighton in the south of England when I first had news of my mother.
Maureen my mother lived in Plymouth, Devon, around four hundred miles from me. Even now, thirty years later, writing ‘my mother’ or thinking of her at all is proper alien to me. I am the beginning and the end of my family.
Knowing where you came from is a biological urge, but it is rare to find anyone in the same boat.
I’ve met many people who didn’t understand their fathers and some who didn’t know them at all but never met anyone else given up by their mother when they were one.
I had a friend whose mother left him with an aunt in Jamaica for eight years whilst she came to England to train to become a nurse. He said that when she did return home, she was like a stranger to him and he always had felt some awkwardness towards her but went on to recognise that she did it for him and his siblings.
I didn’t know how I felt about my mother. What did she leave me for? I suppose I should have been angry. But it’s not that easy. How can you feel anything when you don’t have a picture in your mind of who to be angry with? All I had was back handed remarks from my father and snippets of snide information from my step mother. My birth mother was a taboo subject.
If I’m honest, I don’t remember the drive down to Plymouth that weekend. It’s a journey I used to do more often but nowadays I barely remember the way and now would use googlemaps. Back then, I know I was intrigued and very nervous. Meeting my mother and Grandmother, Gwen, for the first time was an unprecedented life situation. A defining moment.
There was much to look forward to. Over the weekend I was due to meet other extended members of my family. I remember being happy. My partner, at the time was a man called Mike, he was an accountant. We thought we were in love. I was working as a model agent and instructor which kept me busy most days and two evenings during the week.
It was a weekend away. We were using his blue Ford Escort 1.4 for the journey. I loved driving his car. I’d never driven anything with less than three previous owners before and the journey down to Devon would have been quick as I always liked to drive fast.
Arriving at the bottom of Gwen’s tower block in Devonport, was unremarkable but forever indentured in my memory. The old worn heavy wooden doors gave way after I pressed the intercom to announce our arrival. The corridors and lift smelled as all council buildings smell; old, pissy with the faint taint of Special Brew. I live in tower block myself now and it is the same.
We arrived on her floor, the thirteenth, and buzz my biological Grandmother’s door. A small dark haired, wrinkled lady opens it and explains straight away that she isn’t my Nan. Her name is Ruby, and she’s Nan’s best friend. For some reason this flummoxed me briefly and Mike takes me arm. He gives me a nod of encouragement and we walked through the dark hall.
As we get to the end of the hall, a green frog, a soft toy security device, sounds out ‘rebbit’- making me jump but we follow Ruby through to where Nan is sat in her lounge.
I hear Nan laugh before I see her. Ruby sits down on the sofa nearest to Nan. My new/old/unknown Grandmother was sat in a chair to the right of me as I came through the door. In front of me were large picture windows looking out over Plymouth Sound. The view was breath-taking.
Photos were on every side and display collections of thimbles were on the walls. Grandmother Gwen’s short white hair stood up on her head above her pale forehead and almost invisible eyebrows. Her white skin was randomly spotted with light brown patches Her strong liquid blue eyes looked into my brown ones. We both had tears running down our faces as I leant down and hugged her for the first time ever, or at least for the first time since I was a tiny baby. She smelt of warm lavender air and talcum powder.
“Oh”, she said, wiping her eyes with a tissue from a box, “you look just like your photo, just like your mother and how I used to before the diabetes got me.” She referred to her huge size.
“Just like my photo?” I asked. I hoped that I didn’t sound as shocked as I was. My mind was swirling. They knew what I looked like. They had photos of me. How could they know what I looked like when I didn’t know that they existed until a week ago? Had my father stayed in contact? I quickly saw it wasn’t that. New Nan proudly explained that they’d seen me in the local paper. They showed me the cuttings.
I’m glad I was sat down. I took it all in and Ruby made us all a cup of tea.
They all knew about me. They had the freedom to discuss me.
Nan chatted about biological Grandad and how much he’d loved Maureen and would have loved to see me again if he’d lived. I was shown boxes and boxes of photographs. Each one so important but all so overwhelming. I tried to remember all the names and places. What relation someone was to me, but it was too much. I couldn’t take it all in.
At some point I asked whether Maureen, lived nearby and then Nan said she’d call her for me. Then my grandmother picked up the phone and dialled her up on massive buttons. They spoke together on that telephone that was stood on a little wooden table near her floral arm chair. White doilies adorned both. The doilies were matching white cotton with embroidered roses. Nan gestured to me to come and talk. That was the first time I heard my mother’s voice. Stood on the dark reddish, brown, swirly patterned carpet, looking at my Nan’s elderly, eager face with the slimline plastic receiver in my hand held blaring against my ear.
What can I tell you? What did mum sound like? Well, there wasn’t tinkles and sprinkles of magic singing in my ears. Maureen had a heavy Devonshire accent and sounded like any other woman on the phone. She tells me she is at work and will come over when her shift finished.
I sit there for what seemed like an eternity, looking at black and whites, waiting to see what she looks like in real life. That really was the main thing I wanted to see. Shallow really but it’s the truth. I also wanted to know why she’d left me and what she was really like. Was she a tragic alcoholic who needed to party? I wanted to know her more than I felt any anger.
Finally, the door went. Ruby went to answer it. I looked at Mike. He looked back reassuringly. I was thankful he was there, being supportive, quiet and not intrusive.
My mother enters after the ‘rebbit’ followed by Ruby, who went to put the kettle on again.
Maureen stood across the room looking at me apprehensively. She said,
“Do you hate me?”
“No.” I replied. I looked at the woman who was my mother and my face cracked, so much emotional came forth and I cried heavily. I stood up and walked to her. I embraced her and she embraced me. She was smaller, fragile even. I carried on crying as we hugged. My desperate need for her to show me love overrode everything else and I don’t know how long we stood there like that just holding each other. She pulled away first. Telling me I had a sister and brothers. We sat and talked as Ruby served tea and my new Nan supplied biscuits.
I was shown the first photos I’d seen of myself as a baby. I was told my baby history. ‘Mother’ dropped me with my Aunt Chris on my first birthday so I could meet my father (Chris’s brother) and never went back for me. Maureen told me that she’d been breast feeding and they’d had to bind her to stop producing milk for me. She told me that I cried a lot. And that as my cousin was a Downs Syndrome baby.
It was difficult and their household could not cope with all of us. She was suffering with depression and didn’t want to make the journey back across Plymouth to get me. The longer she left it the easier it became then she met another man and got pregnant again. She tells me that it was difficult to love her new child, a son, because she was thinking about me.
We cried all afternoon. I see that she is similar but much smaller than me. The similarity is around the cheekbones and mouth, perhaps in the shape of the eyes. Maureen’s eyes are green so my browns must be from father. But the mannerisms surprised me. We both do similar things with our hands and heads when we talk or at rest. It was rather bizarre to witness. She tells me people call her Mo, but I decided to call her mum.
She invites Mike and I to her flat so that I can meet with one of my brothers and my sister. All fantasy that my mother had given me up to live a better life perished when I saw her flat and how modestly she lived. My sister and brother were outstanding individuals and clearly close to Mo. We ordered fish and chips from the corner shop for tea.
My brother and sister were both blue eyed blondes so looked nothing like me. They tell me that my other brother, Matthew, is dark. I’ve yet to meet him to this day. In true Devon spirit my mother gives her bed to Mike and me for the night. The next day I meet the rest of my family from Devon and Cornwall and they make me feel welcome. I felt accepted but I didn’t feel like I belonged.
We were all close for a few years, Mum, her family and I, but by 2000 the relationship became sour, estranged and again, she is now unknown to me.
I’m glad that I know where I came from regardless of the fact that I no longer have a relationship with my biological mother and her family. I don’t belong to her tribe but because of her I never really belonged anywhere else.
Thanks for reading.
The End
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0006sg5https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0006sg5
It wasn’t just the BBC, other news channels also carried the story that Black Women were five times more likely to die during child birth than white women in the UK.
I have searched for this research for the actual figures. I cannot find any for the UK that support this. There are several infographs stating it but no figures to support it. READ THE REPORTS.
They talk about the statistics…but don’t say where they are..they say they are complex.
That is not enough. To understand the statistics one must read the report as the summary is bad. It’s worse than bad it totally ignores the fact that there is NO DIRECT DEATH INCREASE and states QUITE CLEARLY most of the deaths are due to suicide within the first year after death and bizarrely homicide. So, what we are actually talking about is black women dying after they have given birth.
I would like to add that focusing resources on black women on the back of no evidence is not the right way to do things. The bbc have a duty to research the facts as a public broadcaster.
All women giving birth of all races struggle to give birth in the UK. The NHS is basic care – for all. I have just seen my daughter go through the system and I myself have, more than twenty years ago, and can assure you that the women you have interviewed may be black but it is not just black women who are badly cared for in the NHS. All women are cared for badly, it’s a pot luck affair.
It’s great that the American’s are dealing with discrimination and racism – however, within the UK many of our doctors are black and so are our midwifes so if there racism it is not necessary by white people. It is very possible as a white person to suffer racism from a brown or black doctor I can assure you this is very common for white women.
All this black lives matter is just a ruse to get more funding. Praying on the feeling against racism when actually all women are treated like this…why not join us women and fight together for equality rather than try to cause hatred and division.
Women are treated terribly in the medical profession and it is getting worse.
The journalist says herself it is a bias against women in general she admits that’s its a lack of knowlege of the female anatomy generally…yet the BBC choose not to focus on this MAJOR FACT and go with a really incitive line.
Not good BBC please sort it out. What are you trying to do? England is not America. Two different countries so do not be so lazy with your program research !!!
There is an increase in deaths in childcare in the UK but it hasn’t been collected by ethnicity so there is no way they’d know. But it does show that our services are not as they were.
The medical profession in general behaves terribly towards women and it’s about time the Beeb really covered the story rather than using just parts of it for their own agenda. Usually a black promotion agenda which is boring, so boring when you live in a predominantly white country.
What you have to realise is that there are private patients being treated at the same hospitals on the same wards as NHS patients so hey join the rest of us and stop thinking that it is because you are black and realise that it’s an elite agenda. It’s because you are poor and female. Get with the rest of us and start communicating rather than segregating and you’d realise that.
I’m white. There was no hot water available, no pain relief and although I have major connective tissue disorder was discharged from the birthing ward with my baby within two hours. I couldn’t walk, none of us can but what I am saying that although I have a rare disease I was given no consideration or even basic things like hot water. I definitely never saw a wheelchair. My daughter gave birth last year and there was no oxygen on the ward, they’d run out! The baby got MRSA and all the staff were black. One of the nurses kept coming in an touching him…saying, isn’t his skin silky. How would these ladies feel if a white nurse kept coming in and doing that to their black baby?
And listening to a brand new midwife with no or little experience is bizarre. How is she allowed to give her evidence as fact, truly unbelievable. Again, the BBC seem to have a total disregard for the truth and are more interested in pushing unsavory distrust and personal biases.
All women are discharged far too quickly, I accept it’s wrong, I’d like change. How can we get change when these so called black women are diluting the message?
Black women do not have curvature of their spines which makes giving birth more difficult…where is the evidence for this??? WTF???? I have a curvature of the spine and there is no extra consideration given for this condition! I’m disgusted at the BBC for promoting division, yet again.
Seems like a crooked attempt to get extra funding. And it will succeed too as too many people just accept this rubbish rather than reading the actual reports! However, black women shouldn’t worry as they are as safe as the rest of us the report says this clearly.
Thanks for reading. This piece was stuck in my drafts since last year so is published late.
South Africa is worrying me.
The situation is becoming worse and worse and is being ignored by our international press.
Elderly man refused food aid because he is white.
Racist reporter attempting to make this man feel bad because he lives with white people.
I don’t mess with her words
She tells me just right
Go and get that paper and pen
Just write
I am but a poet
and a poet is me
She guides my hand
As I do not see
She leads me to lands
Lands not begone
Along worthy journeys
To show right from wrong
I hear her in the wind
As she blows by me
She whispers and gusts
As she moves through the trees
The darkness creeps in
It hordes onto the shores
Things cannot be as they were
Before
They tell me they come with malice
They say they’ve come to take
I’ve tried desperately to ignore them
And now, perhaps, it’s too late.
Fin.
By Samantha ‘unextraordinarybint’ Harris.
26th August 2020. England, United Kingdom of British Isles.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Where I am coming from…
According to the media…any person protesting is now ‘right wing’. All the Save the Children protests have been classed as Far Right!
Poem written in response for calls for all white people to give their belongings to the nearest black person they know…or who comes to claim it. Poem written in response to the increased sexual and violent attacks in my country. Poem written in response to the kind friends who sent me the links…that I cannot share. Those link with the mobs of black men and women killing white people just because they are white, unfortunately they come from all over the globe.
This isn’t a drill…they tell me. I should say ‘so what?’ and feel nothing to worry about? It isn’t that simple anymore…England has been confused with America and people come to ‘even the score’. White people are ‘white people‘ regardless of where they were born.
I call out black people for being the most racist of the communites I’ve met, that is, after brown people who are also incredibly racist towards other people not like them. This whole ‘black lives matter’ movement is racist. Feck your skin colour as all lives matter. Including mine that was almost wiped out by five black people and all other white people attacked for their skin. You are what you say you hate.
The ‘save the children’ protests are regarding the large amount of white children who are being targeted for violent attacks and sexual grooming. Numerous hit and runs have targeted children since December 2019, stabbings, house fires started etc killing whole families, sexual grooming of children is at a terrible high. Sex trafficking of Chinese,Vietnamese and British children is on a massive rise. Terrorist attacks against children going to concerts – these are things we should be protesting about and we are trying to organise and do something and then we’re being called Nazis.
I’ve read the propaganda and I’ve been keeping ahead of the news. I’ve had my own experiences which I’d happily lose. I live in a small country. The population density to the area of land mass available is tight…how can we sustain all these people? If they were all flooding into America or Canada what would you liberals say then? But they aren’t crossing that pond is too dangerous and long. However, they can head for England because the journalists, media, church and Islamic state help them along.
To imagine that people like Action of Churches together can change history is astounding. I mean to say statement like, ” We believe that Southern voices need to be heard and listened to in the European Union” is bizarre as, in England we have the Commonwealth so have ties with countries all over the globe and as such have a multinational culture. They use terms like ‘third world country’ which is an old racist term to be frank. They seemed to think all of England is rich when is it isn’t, although some people in England are rich, like in America, but they are not all white people.
Songs like this don’t help…Kill All The White People
Building Developments like this don’t help – https://www.surreycomet.co.uk/news/18631060.anger-scotts-farm-road-fallout-west-ewell/
Residents sign petitions protesting about the new builds, as the current state of social housing is terrible. The new builds are used to house the newcomers as they have priority in social housing because of their race or nationality. Priority is given to those with so called ‘protected factors’ of race over disability and overcrowded current social housing residents. This is illegal.
Priority is also given to those of brown or black skin in our National Health System. I don’t know why as this is also illegal. It’s discrimination as it’s based on completely unfound principals (eugenics says they need better health than whites). Thankfully as individuals we know it isn’t the black or brown patient’s fault. That they benefit from being given priority is seen as normal, but it doesn’t mean that it is right. The policies of our countries are not equal. They are set to divide us.
When I complained, in 2018, to Hertsmere councillor Mr Cohen, about the housing policy and the use of ‘Head of Household’ rather than the usual joint tenancy names and pointed out that this was illegal and classed as sexist as the Tamil Housing Association would only accept the male in the relationship as the ‘head of household’ he said “So, what?”
When I complained to Three Rivers District Housing about their discriminative and totally unfair housing policy, they also dismissed me. How long can you dismiss the indigenous population before something gives? What are these policies attempting to achieve? They are currently achieving huge crime increases in the communities where they are housing these newcomers with no thoughts to the safety of the current residents, which because of the lack of facilities and the perceived privilege has decreased.
Proof that UN convention on safeguarding disabled people as a vulnerable group was and is being continually broken by Herts Country Council Housing Policy. This housing is generally designed for easier living for elderly persons or disabled persons…of all colours so why should they be given priority?
If a person isn’t over 55 they should not qualify as over 55 for prioriy purposes. It isn’t fair.
I know two hard working white british families of five people who both live in one bedroomed flats…no fault of their own. They live in London. The wives are both health care workers who look after the elderly and infirm in their own homes after the hospitals discharge them. They earn less than £10 an hour. The husbands both work full time. One family has a deaf and disabled child. Why should they be prioritized over by someone who has different skin colour, just because they have a different skin colour?
Buying a house big enough is impossible for both families..social housing is the only option.
By Samantha ‘unextraordinarybint’ Harris.
26th August 2020. England, United Kingdom of British Isles.
In Callow Land
Owls screech
Down Fall the Roe
Submission
Into light so bright
Burning without
Moons healing shadow
Press hands
On mercy knees
Smiles spread
On face of He
Return to a place
Secreted in history.
We sense they come.
One sole hangs in the scales
Nought one shoe can do.
Beg Humanity to see
The beauty that surrounds us
In a leaf or a humbler tree?
So, although they silence me
And, cut me deep too
I bleed blue, a blackberry hue
I will come back and take
My land,
That’s promised you.
Your fear too real
Endangering
Life you would steal
I lay down the lavender
To placate, replicate
For You and Its late,
Ones at the gates
Staring lusty eyes search for holes
Greedy to trade the souls
They sayeth devil be blamed
Just Gods on side, and
Under his wing
Opportunists will hide.
Less married women!
Single breeders evil be.
Feed the children you have sown.
Become the Father
It’s your place to own.
Or should be! (If you took responsibility.)
The innocence of soul be free,
Stop taking it for thee.
Filling youths’ heads
With catastrophe
And calamity,
After calamity.
To survive I must desist.
Disappear into the mist.
My love, I leave you
Upon freshly axed logs
Scented of woodland fresh
Surrounded in bluebells
With honey and primrose breath
Where dragonflies flutter
Unwritten but uttered.
The end
By Samantha unextraordinarybint Harris
“The UK is leading the world with studies of the new corona virus” says the news reader, “It’s ‘recovery trials’ are doing well”. It’s recovery trials? I do a little digging. Ah, this the name for the current drug trials for treatment of covid19 in the UK that are now starting to come to an end.
I found this, that some of you may find interesting, it’s worth watching all the way as I imagine it will be removed fairly quickly. This video does raise some concerns for the patients and the study. Listen to Dr Been (!) It gets interesting just before half way through, although it was useful from the beginning. I like his delivery and simple explanations.
One cannot help but wonder how this study was allowed and if the patients were really informed. I say this as I know someone who has died from covid19. After a day of attempting to get some paracetamol (there was a shortage) to get his temperature down he called the doctor. He had breathing difficulties generally and his chest was hurting. His temperature was sky high and he was sick.
An ambulance came, lots of things happened, but the main one was that he was put in a medically induced coma for his safety. No one was allowed to go with him to the hospital. I’m assuming it was same if not similar for the thousands of others who have died. Did he have drugs trialled on him or did he get the very best treatment he normally would?
Hydroxychloroquine was being trialled here on very sick patients. I have to agree with this doctor. This is not a good study. This is not ethical. As such the data is not reliable not to say how worrying it is for the British public who, unfortunately see the NHS as not being able to do them any harm.
Welcome is involved which is nice to know. They are a huge organisation with great resources and are working with the NHS.
Oxford and their ‘pathways’ of treatments…thankfully started recovery trials before we got locked down in mid March 2020. How very organised they were. Let’s hope that all the patients involved would have died anyway of covid19 because otherwise this is bad.
Note, that they talk constantly of the drugs that they are studying. No one mentions patients other than where they are recruited from geographically, their demographic and that, stated very factually, there is around a 25% fatally rate in trial members.
It should be noted that these are drugs that are already licenced, not new drugs. These are known drugs being looked at under clinical guidance in different settings and doses. For instance Hydroxychloroquine is usually prescribed, cautiously, in out-patients but in these studies it is being given in huge doses at the beginning of admission to extremely ill people. This study took seventy-six days and recruited over a thousand patients.
Suspected covid19 patients are invited as well as actual covid19 positive patients.
The outcome of the studies is one of two. Does the patient live or not. So, these drugs trials are only measured by fatality. Who is looking out for the interests of these sick, probably disorientated patients? Again, is this ethical?
What happened to getting blood samples or mucous and studying them? What happened to diagnosing the patient and then treating the disease which has actually been found? According to the reports many of the trial members did not have covid19. If this is the case the ‘successful’ medicine is simply going to be licensed for treatment of covid19 if it does no real harm.
I long suspected that the UK was allowed to ‘become infected’ with covid19 in order for the NHS to be used to collect data from the infected patients to sell to pharma. But it looks like I was wrong. Big pharma control more in the NHS and the patients are now the new ethical ‘animals being experimented on’.
Thankfully the NHS is filled, mainly, with individuals that do care and for this reason we will all still continue to support the NHS.
Thanks for reading. Hope it isn’t the same Dr Been.
unextraordinarybint Samantha Harris in London, England. 
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