Tag Archives: discrimination

The Whiteness and Bloody Americans. Rant.

What is wrong with white people? This is aimed at white people in Europe not the States. I’m English and would also class myself as European. I voted to remain for Brexit.

How can white people not realise they may be a target for hatred? Because, in the same way my (white) ancestors had to scream out for help to London, most are not aware.

The media and social media only tell what it wants, but if you look you will find independent news outlets now giving out the very depressing news. Youtube is worth watching if you can circumnavigate the PR stuff, filters, sexist and racist search results.

Stabbing and shootings in towns up and down the country have increased dramatically during lockdown…they stopped collecting ethnicity as it was getting very obvious. In response, Far right activity rose by 4% to 8% of our countries total terrorist threat. This resulted in a news blackout of the ongoing attacks.

But, I want to talk about our health and the NHS, and a woman called Rano Bains.

Why should you be interested in what she says? Because she is Head of Equality and Diversity for many NHS Trusts and hospitals (national health service) in England. It is her words which drive policy, funding and training in our wards and universities.

Rano Bain’s words…

“The whiteness refers to white consciousness – the ‘silent’, pervasive, cultural norm that informs and shapes our racial ideology. Whiteness is constructed as a formless, empty cultural space that is neutral, natural and normative. Whiteness, because it is an unnamed, hegemonic position of privilege and power, becomes the point of reference for measuring others, unlike “blackness” which has been named in the language of white signification. Whiteness has defied scrutiny as it does not seem like a culture as everyone is apparently the same.”

hmmm…plain English would have been nice…..However, I will attempt to break it down.

Do white people know what other white people think? She makes it sound like we are plugged into an invisible big psychic cloud. Her claims of white consciousness of people in Russia, Israel, Poland being the same as white people in England, Germany or America are terrible.

It shows her racism immediately. The first line says that she is viewing white people from a position of suspicion and it is white people who declare racial identity, to her. Is Ms Bains the type of person who should be running our ‘equality and diversity’ departments?

Current serving Ministers have declared that white privilege has no place being taught in our schools, but are they aware that it is taught in our NHS to our healthcare assistants, nurses and doctors?

White people come lower down the humanity chart to many people in the media, the health care profession and education. This has to change. All lives matter all faiths matter, including those without faith – that doesn’t mean they make the rules.

When people are not offered the same facilities and services it is called discrimination. (eg. TB vaccine). When they are not warned of extra risks to them, (eg. flu vaccine) this is racism.

White people are the only race not afforded the indigenous land protections.

In this manner, the United Nations is racist.

My country – The United Kingdom of the British Isles, is a country RICH in culture and heritage. It is wrong to say we have none. To be frank it is racist to say white people have no culture.

Terms like ‘snowy peaks, and ‘the whiteness‘ are racist. They should not be allowed within training programs in our national health system. They should be discredited by academics within our schools and universities.

Explain to me why white people are criticized for holding positions in predominantly white citizenships or companies? How can that possibly be racist? But, it isn’t racist that African’s insist on their land being owned by black people? It isn’t racist that native American Indians have land that is just theirs?

If white people want their own space, it’s racist?

Explain why Christians can’t say they hate Islam? Both are bad, but Christians have become tolerant and are the standing religion in the UK along with paganism. Religion isn’t even a race but somehow it is being added to our ‘hate crime’ laws, originally designed to protect everyone. Soon I will be unable to say I hate religion!!!

This directly threatens our free speech and our security.

Explain why a black person (from anywhere) is on our national news talking about feeling hurt because she suspects racism? She suspects it was racism…? She may be getting hassled for all sorts of reasons to assume it is racism is not on. Because she is in a predominantly white country she declares racism, but she works within a predominantly non white environment in the NHS in London.

Regardless.

How is this national news when the same day people were stabbed, on UK streets, for being white? Another incident only covered at a local level, as all of these types of murders now.

Murder by colour code. If you are a white murderer or white child killer you will be plastered over the media, if you are black/brown/not English you may not even get arrested if your child dies unexpectantly unless the public pull the police up.

Explain why George Floyd is on BBC but Cannon Hinnant isn’t? Neither murder happened in Britain (BBC stands for British Broadcasting Corp).

I’m scared. I stand as someone who was attacked by people who were not of my colour. I am not imagining the hatred towards me. I’m verbally attacked when I leave my home by an awful Russian woman (white). I’m scared of the doctors and nurses no matter what colour they are, as many view me as spoilt immediately because I am English. White Irish ambulance staff can be especially mean. All white people are not the same!

As an English person I learnt a long time ago to lie about where I am from, but I will never again. I educated myself away from the white guilt, the same as I educated myself away from the Christian guilt and can now see it for what it is. Both are run for greed, envy, laziness, brainwashing and corruption.

I stand as someone who was born in Plymouth, Devon, England. The full history is not covered by the Americans EVER…they remain race blind on the slave trade history because of their own sordid history and because it suits certain people politically.

This lady, Rano Bains (no idea where she is from), has a nerve to say this of England with her Whiteness perspective. However, we are the most tolerant of countries. Perhaps she cannot see a long history or culture within our country, but surely this does not mean there isn’t one?

I read her pdf in 2018 and have been stewing since. I didn’t want to do a piece as I don’t want to add to a rise of hatred towards anyone but it seems I do need to defend myself and my life. A black lady is found online saying all white people are inbred and most of the comments underneath agreed…however, you will not be able to find it.

Search for any attack on a white person and google immediately takes you to black lives matter material unless you know the name of the victim and the date you will not find it on referenced on our news. Google is not relevant and neither is youtube.

White people are not the same, nor do we think we are the same. We are classed as white for measurement of resources for assurances to black and brown people to ensure that facilities are shared equally.

Also, we now appear to have strange advert quotas – air brushing blond people from TV, advertising, film and social media in Europe is also getting very tedious. European people are white. Get over it. Stop telling us we are racist.

White people are just people. We don’t deserve any more or any less than any other human. It is Rano Bain’s term, The Whiteness, that gave birth to many of my poems reflecting as The Blackness….ideally I wouldn’t be seeing the world in this manner. I never used to. But, this is obviously the idea, after all, you cannot capture a culture and it’s resources without upsetting a few people.

Our national anthem has come under attack. Us Brits will ignore it and will carry on with it but for the English (traitors), Americans, Indians, Pakistanis, Russians and African who called for it to be banned, please get a education by reading the following.

The history behind the British song Rule Britannia, UK national anthem.
In the 1600s the seas around Britain were ruled by North African Slavers(who were black). They boarded British ships and carried off the crews (whites) to be sold as slaves in Africa. The situation became so bad that fishermen wouldn’t put out to sea in case they were captured by African Slave Traders.
Between 1609 and 1616, 466 British ships were captured by Slave Traders in the English Channel, Irish Sea and North Atlantic, and the crews were sold into slavery. White crews.

Some other historical news stories from England include,

In 1625, sixty English people (white) who had taken refuge in a local church were dragged out, loaded up and taken off to Africa to be sold as slaves from Mount’s Bay in Cornwall

On 12 August 1625 the Mayor of Plymouth wrote to London for military help after 27 ships had been seized by North African Muslim Slave Traders in just 10 days.

In 1645, 240 people were seized as slaves in Cornwall.

White people – valued by other nations because of the colour of their skin for abuses in other countries. We didn’t value ourselves higher because of our skin they did because they wanted it.

One or two survived, made their way back to England and wrote of their capture, but most didn’t.

The situation only began to improve for Britain after the end of our English Civil War when the Royal Navy was built up under Oliver Cromwell.

By 1700, North African Slavers generally knew better.

It was in honour of this defence of our security, that in 1740, James Thompson wrote ‘Rule Britannia’.

Apathy will not help our children or our grandchildren. I stupidly did not go to the police over my own attack in Kings College Hospital but I did complain and I did go to my GP about my injuries so it is a matter of record. I also took photos of my injuries, they amounted to bruising.

People need to stop talking about racism as if white people are always responsible. Racists are everywhere and you cannot tell them by their colour.

Stop believing that because of colour you should have less and be grateful because you have nothing to feel bad about.

Stop believing that because of colour you should have more and other people owe you something.

The end.

Leave a comment if you like, I suspect this will be filtered out of google and bing search anyway.

Thanks for reading.

If anyone else can decode Ms Rano Bain’s words please enlighten me. Pardon the pun.

Stop Discrimination in Medicine

Over and over again we are told only some people can get certain diseases and other races cannot. Even if results come back indicating a blood disorder, sickle cell will not be tested for…maybe even rickets would not be picked up because of your childs genetic makeup…although they don’t know your child’s genetic makeup…they do that on sight, by name or nationality. They = Doctors.

Rickets is a disease where monitoring and treatment is being targeted towards non whites when every child is at equal risk. Here is a medical paper saying it isn’t just non whites who suffer from it…attempting to make racist doctors understand that white children get ill too.

https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(14)60211-7/fulltexthttps://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(14)60211-7/fulltext

We’ve accepted racism and allowed it to enter our health professions. As a result Rickets is on the rise and many of our sick children go undiagnosed with painful diseases for lengthy periods.

We must call out racist papers and medical trials. If a drug is to be safe or a treatment, it must be safe for everyone. As genetically we are all different – not all white people are the same, not all black people are the same and there are billions of people inbetween.

Allopurinol – known to have vicious side effects in non whites is not usually prescribed to black folks in England, or shouldn’t be. It was given to me though and caused major rash and major gout attack.

But, much worse than that, I found this video. It doesn’t even warn against giving it to black people…

So, we are all at the mercy of this distrust and it is caused by the Pharma companies.

Please be cautious about any medication given to you and read the small print carefully.

Stay safe.

Thanks for reading.

I wonder how many other drugs are known to cause harm depending on your genetics?

Please Fix The Door

Please fix the door

Make it like it used to

Working, like it used to

We could have a fire

We ought to raise the roof

Seventeen floors of families

Need this fire escape

Our government didnt learn anything from Grenfel

Please fix it before its too late

It’s a year since it broke

I’m fed up of complaining

Time to start shaming

Watford Community Housing Trust

Fix this now!!! You must!

Watch “Is the BBC solving or creating problems by giving staff ‘avoiding racial bias’ training?” on YouTube

My Special Tin – Poem

Sometimes in life, I don’t know where to begin

No matter how hard I try, depression seeps in

Arguing with consciousness, anxiousness, figure fatigue

It’s beginning to become the new normality

 

Also, in life, I’m often missing the point

Seems like everyone is shouting and pushing

I dream to withdraw, grab my tin, make a joint

It’s not even a tin, but that’s an historical thing

 

Of course, it would be therapeutic…

What else could it be?

It’s hardly social, trapped home as a criminal, is where I’d be

Cannabis being illegal in my country

 

Privately grown and worldwide exported, but only medically.

Unless you’re a Minister, Doctor or other licensed sinister

Peasants just aren’t deemed ‘worthy’

Basically, it’s not allowed to be used by the working class family

 

So, let’s shout out for equality

What’s right for others should be right for me.

I call for drugs to be decriminalised

Let the police concentrate on saving lives.

 

The End

By Samantha ‘unextraordinarybint’ Harris

A country who decriminalised in Europe 15 years ago.

The link above is about Portugal. Users are rarely given prison time, instead they have a community care role towards the user to ensure abuse is kept to a minimum.

They are not alone, many countries and some states in USA have now decriminalised cannabis. England exports to them but doesn’t allow it’s own population to partake.

Thanks for reading. Please leave a comment on whether you think drugs should be decriminalised or if you like the poem. I love to know what others think.

Hark Hark Dogs Bark, Beggars are in the Towns – Poem About Homelessness.

Homeless in rags and some with bags

They hang around on the ground

From Tinseltown to Norfolk Downs

They grow and swell along with the cloud

*

Moved on from everywhere they settle

Personalities not deemed worth the metal

Clean blood, no drugs, no pets

The rules of the roof to be met

Watching those whose bones unfroze

Walk by with noses held high

*

Choose not to see the dirt in which you hide

When they entered into the pact

Lives do not look at or choose to face

Worlds created for those they displaced

*

Nothing to do with them, they’ll say

Go on with their busy, useful day

You took their home, their thrones, their land

Deserving of the dirt you land

*

Justify away….

Your moral compass is somewhat squared

With your invisible gods up there

Humanity is lost to you when deities

Or lies tell you what to do

*

Souls lost, still sleep out in the cold

Especially if frail, disabled or old

No more deserving than you or me

Good grace is where it is at

Giving something back.

*

Charity begins at home

If you have benefited from the sale of their homes

Should you not feel obliged

To leave your hatred aside

*

Not for the gods and your immaculate domes

Not for the peoples you left

But for the land which saved you

And gave you benefit.

The End.

 

 

By Samantha “unextraordinarybint” Harris

Now a rant about the housing crisis in UK…

Breaking the law on disabled discrimination in favour of race.
Proof that UN convention on safeguarding disabled people as a vulnerable group was and is being continually broken by Herts Country Council Housing Policy and many other authority housing agents. 

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/jun/28/council-homes-sold-off-almost-three-times-as-fast-as-new-ones-are-built

England had mainly social housing for decades until the Tories started selling it off. There is a large house building policy in place but these are private homes not for social housing – to imagine that homeless people are homeless because of ‘lack of affordable housing’ is quite frankly a fucking joke.

It is the policies which have made so many homeless. Not replacing the social housing which has been sold into private ownership. Simple. Alongside a Tory policy which also saw 20,000 Syrians re homed here under a special scheme. Very charitable.

The UK social housing policy allows tenants to buy social housing properties at knocked down price…as such much of the housing stock is now privately owned and unavailable as social housing. The UK law allows purchase within five years of receiving a social housing property currently and has for the last few decades.

Individual councils have their own policies as to who get’s allocated a social housing property and as I have continually pointed out to the council this breaks the law on equality as per the UN Convention. Basically the council hand pick the property you are allowed to bid on if you need housing. So Tamil housing has there own policy, Three Rivers have theirs and so on.

I’m rather fed up of our laws being broken and after waiting for several months for the councillors to investigate I’ve decided to vent my frustrations via poetry. I mean no harm to anyone but will defend myself when in a corner.

My housing association attempted to evict me on spurious grounds and I know of others who have been evicted. There is no recourse or appeal. Disabled people’s right are being stomped on and ignored.

We have a council staffed full of success stories. Let’s have some compassion rather than contempt – disabled people have rights and they should be being observed.

https://www.watfordobserver.co.uk/news/17954914.homeless-deaths-increase-watford/

I applaud our country for helping others. But our governments should have been safeguarding our social housing not selling it off. Five years is not long enough to be a tenant before being able to purchase property.

I would argue that the Right to Buy policy be withdrawn until the housing crisis is over.

https://fullfact.org/immigration/syrian-refugees-uk/

 

Click to access 170711_Syrian_Resettlement_Updated_Fact_Sheet_final.pdf

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russians_in_the_United_Kingdom

To the Russian woman who attacked me when I moved into the block. Fuck you. I have just as much right to social housing, if not more. Already living in social housing but awaiting a larger property my Russian attacker reckoned that as I was disabled I must be lying about my illness to get a home…divide and conquer tactics at their finest.

What can one say? Thanks for reading and all comments welcome.

Equality In Housing Allocation In UK

I have been trying to get this story out for a while but my emails are returned to me from the police and from the special fraud squad.

I highlighted inequality in our housing system towards disabled women and women as they are both protected groups under UN convention.

The housing trusts are Homegroup, Watford Community Housing Trust and Tamil Housing. These are the only ones I looked at. But all three broke the rules on housing allocation.

At what point will the government deal with this problem?

Building more private housing on over populated pieces of common land is against our laws.

There are huge areas of england available for building projects- to keep building on the same spot of land is not sustainable and against our laws.

Perhaps someone could send me the address of special fraud squad because I’m tired of my emails being returned.

Dear Charlie, We Don’t Have Cladding.

ImagineaToweringInfernoInMundenview?withthenewfiresprinklersystemitcoulAtuallyHappenAndIWantToStopTheAbuseOfChilrenNowAndAbuseOfMenandAbuseOfWomenHappeningOnEarthAndAlwaysSaveTheAnimalsBecauseWeAreAllBests

BeingJudgedIsHorribleAndNowIsTimeOfJudgeWeUseThisMomentToReflctOnOurLivesPurpose


Thank you for taking the time to respond to my questions regarding the retrofitting of fire sprinklers in Munden View in Watford, the block I live in. There is no gas allowed in the block, so it is all electric with decent RCD cover. It has no cladding.

I would like to take WCHT up on the offer of thermal imagining to ensure that the system that the fire bridgade has suggested is suitable for my flat in regards to the temperature trigger of 58 degrees.  It does get exceptionally hot up here. It’s one of the reasons I love it and most normal people would hate it.

The imaging is a great suggestion and the next two mondays I’m back at hospital but otherwise I am usually around and can be reached on all the contact details they have at the office for me or on this email.

Two inspection staff from WCHT come up this week. One of those unannounced visits that feels like a drugs bust they did a flat audit, to make sure I wasn’t subletting.

What a coincidence that the police just popped by the day before – just to see how I’m doing. It would be so easy to lose objectiveness when you feel you are being bullied. Especially having mental health issues. It would be so easy to become paranoid.

The threat of legal action and costs really helped. I do feel suitably comforted into allowing you to enter my legally let property and fit a fire sprinkler system that I do not want or think necessary as this tower block does not have cladding.

As WCHT inspection staff were here, checking my id and looking around, they saw the ceilings and understood my concerns.  So perhaps things are being dealt with. With the water damage from the roof we do need to ensure these bonded ceilings can take the continual load of the weight sitting in the system pipes.

The stay put policy, during a fire, is one I’m quite happy with. I was more than happy to move into the block. My professional experience has given me the knowledge that should the compartmentation be solid a building can have an extremely safe record of withstanding fires. It should be remembered that this is an extemely safe tower block and does not have cladding.

It is good to know that the fire brigade are so involved as it is them who need to control water supply. It has put my mind at rest that they had such a large input in the choice of the design for the fire protection these large tower blocks.

I spent some time removing access cabling from the flat when I moved in last year. I was concerned that should the cables fall they would block my only exit. I did have similiar concerns with the pipes for the fire sprinklers, as I am in a wheelchair.  I see that these things are all going to be looked into which is good to know.

You tell me that the fire sprinklers will not cost the tenants anything on our service charges – thank you, this is reassuring.

Your suggestion that I leave the flat whilst the fire sprinklers are fitted is an obvious one and I thank you.

I’m not sure where I would go for such a long time. Three days.  I’m hoping that the WCHT staff who came up yesterday could see that my situation is such I would not be medically facilitated for in most places, or indeed comfortable. I’m very aware, that with my conditions, being here would be impossible while it’s being fitted without heavy ear defenders for the diamond drilling at the very least. I believe human health and safety requirements demand that much.

Your answer regarding the appearance of the installment of the fire sprinklers is not yet answered. The actual installment looks very different from the show flat installment which some tenants saw but others who requested to see were not able. So, although I did promise not to continue to ask more questions I feel that requesting that you respond to this is not a new question but one already asked so I request, respectfully, that it is answered

I would still like the main fire doors between the floors fixed properly, as they blow open in the wind from the ‘air’ window in the communal area. It is very likely that this would fail in a fire. This is the only exit route. It is important. It is also a primary measure as mentioned in the fire report which ought to be done before secondary measures like fire sprinklers.

It should also be pointed out that several tenants pointed out the danger of what was happening when the cladding was put on Grenfell. They were bullied into accepting it. The tower block did have good fire safety record before it was refitted by the council. I asked you for the name of the system being installed in Munden View. You sent me..

Code of practice BS 9251:2014 gives recommendations for the design, installation, components, water supplies and backflow protection, commissioning, maintenance and testing of fire sprinkler systems in domestic and residential occupancies. These systems are primarily intended for the protection of life in case of fire and have additional benefits for property protection, environmental protection, sustainability of buildings and continuity of use, and firefighter safety

I copied and pasted it here, directly as it was in your email.  I’d like to highlight another point. You say that this ‘system’ has additional benefits, one of the listed is environmental protection – but the system you are installing is plastic conduit, boxed in with large amounts of untreated MDF.  Should the system fail, the environmental impact of the burn, fueled with the polyethene fillers would increase the environmental impact considerably.

Should the water supply fail to the block – as it has several times, and a fire take hold – the holes, plastic tubing, MDF and broken compartmentation would facilitate the burn up through the riser to every floor.

With access to the building becoming a problem most days – the traffic from the hundreds of new houses making it hard for ambulances to attend the tower blocks. This is something I have raised and have been told to be patient about.  I am failing to understand how the fire brigade would deal with a fire here or turn the sprinklers off should they be accidently, maliciously or purposefully triggered.

I am yet decided as to whether to include the name of the fire sprinkler system supplier. I suppose that will depend on what the job looks like and whether the installation in my flat leaks. I’ve heard others do presently.

Thank you for pointing out how important my flat is to the schedule of works. However, there are residents who have taken time off and arranged with your office to let the operatives into their homes so that they can fit these fire sprinklers.

One resident has done this three times now, and the workers haven’t shown up on the day arranged. These residents are just as important and shouldn’t have their time wasted in such a manner. It does seem silly to keep knocking on my door with no appointment when the operatives are not attending the confirmed appointments they have.

There are no questions in this email other than the one regarding the look of the installation. As you and David Wright made it very clear you do not want emails going to and fro. I leave this with you. As I say please do get in contact regarding an appointment for the thermal imagining detector.

Kindest regards,

No Pagans Please

So I just had a tenacy audit. That is when the social housing assoiciation who you rent your property from comes in unannounced to check you are not subletting your flat. All very acceptable.

However, I have had the police and the housing association here regulary and my local councillor just last week…I would have had to move pretty fast to get it sub let in the week between.

I was then asked to fill out some paperwork and prove who I was with ID which thankfully I was able to do. Then I was asked what religion I was. I said pagan. She asked me if that was under ‘christian’ as there is no box for pagans.

This is England. Of course there are pagans… why are we not being counted?

Disabled Living in Beautiful Hertfordshire – Ring of Finite Burden

Grab yourself a cuppa for this one and settle down for an informative read. I’ll try not to be too boring. I warn you that I will go on about my medical issues for a while but then it becomes more relevant to any disabled persons in general as I will discuss the housing allocation service and benefits. Thank you for reading.

One of the main points of this statement is to say we do not have a housing shortage. We have corruption within our councils regarding allocation of housing. This is on a huge scale and the councils are aware of the problem and are hiding the fact they are incapable of monitoring the housing associations and different groups given access to our social housing stock.

Admitting I claim full housing benefit and Universal Credit in Hertfordshire is a risk. There is a real disgust of disabled people and anyone claiming benefit. Every eighteen months or so I fight to keep my Personal Independence Payment although I do qualify for it on many different grounds.

I’ve not always been this disabled. I used to run a modelling agency in Watford. Appearing on TV with famous people like Jodie Kidd. Strutting my stuff and showing teenagers how to do the walk. I got huge debts, mental health issues and had some medical physical problems. Eating disorders were becoming fashionable and I fell out of love with the industry, it had to close.

I didn’t stop working though. I retrained at West Herts College. Becoming a qualified electrician, I now hold City & Guilds certificates in electrical installation and engineering. I have toiled alongside men from all around the world whilst on construction sites. I helped install electrics on projects such as the Samuel Lithgow Youth Centre in central London.

I’m now going to be big-headed and also claim that I can read music and play the guitar. Having mainly taught myself I’m not great but I have performed in Charter Place and Watford Pump House singing. A woman of many talents and master of none.

I can no longer do any of those things. Medical devices put in me to save time in theatre at Watford General Hospital and through St Albans City Hospital have caused an autoimmune response. It affects my eyes, ears and maybe the reason I can’t even shift simple fungal infections. Dr Hextal, I’ve spoken with other patients of yours…it’s not just me and they too have the strange fungus.

The devices are causing a great deal of pain. They are around my bladder and rectum. I’ve been complaining about them since they were put in, in 2002. I wasn’t informed at all about the Stapled Hemorrhroidopexy and have never really recovered. It’s been a slow decline. The last few years involving giving up work altogether, now sat on full benefits because the NHS refuses to do anything other than get paid for not treating me.

I wasn’t really suitable for the devices. I was born with lung disease and a very small defect in my heart. I have an underlying condition called Ehlers Danlos and had extensive endometriosis before the hysterectomy. There were no follow ups for either devices fitted, no follow ups.

The NHS trusts just moved me from one hospital to another. Thankfully I found a TVT bladder sling support group on Facebook and became a little more informed. Now I am angry. Doctors never swab me. However, they have been eager to examine the area physically regardless of my pain level. Now that I refuse examination this is noted on paperwork clearly and is always mentioned in letters.

My nhs medical files are huge and I look incredibly ill on paper, but if you saw me on a good day, unless I was in my wheelchair and/or using my stick you wouldn’t know. I present well. I put my best face on however, I rarely leave the house.

I haven’t had a good day this year yet. It’s March. It seems silly but I cannot stand any pressure on my body – shoes, tight clothes etc So I prefer to sit in very loose clothes at home near a loo. If I go out I wear a large pad. The NHS will not help with the cost of these so they are used sparingly.

I’m heavily medicated with Fentanyl and OxyNorm but try not to take too much as my mind is the only thing which works – well, as long as I have HRT it does work. I was told this week, by my chemist, that because of Brexit the NHS has run out of my HRT so I’m in a rush to write this lol.

I have to argue for most of my medication and have given up asking for certain prescriptions. I suffer from POTS when I’m not well. Any sort of physical effort can cause faints. So even pushing out wind can make me pass out, so I must keep my pain medication as low as possible for my own safety.

I moved recently to a lovely new home. I wasn’t able to climb the stairs in my old house. The situation had become quite sad. My wonderful daughter helped me move my bed downstairs. I could then get myself something to eat, answer the door and look out on the garden.

There was a toilet downstairs with a tiny hand basin. As I had a downstairs toilet it was considered to be ‘level access living’. As both my children had left home, I requested that I be downsized to a smaller property as I was falling foul of the bedroom tax.

I wasn’t using upstairs; three bedrooms were lying empty. Occupational Therapists, Care Workers and my doctor wrote reports supporting the move. I was put on the bidding system. As I was under fifty, I wasn’t eligible for a bungalow.

The bidding system was strange. It was only accessible online. You could only bid via a computer not a phone. I could bid on what they put up for me to bid on. I put a bid in for a one bed flat opposite my GP. I waited eagerly to hear if I would be moving to something smaller and more manageable. I got turned down because I owed £73 rent.

I phoned Three Rivers District Council to complain about housing allocation, I was told they didn’t have a line for that. I asked if I could complain over the phone about how I was being treated. I was told they don’t have a complaints department. They have 160 staff. By law they should have taken the complaint down on the phone. However, I did follow their rules and after much effort produced a fair and reasonable complaint.

Three Rivers District Council made me email the complaint to their enquiries line.  The council upheld the position that I didn’t need housing… I got to complaints stage two before giving up. Health and housing situation just took their toll on me. It was also very embarrassing. I felt that the office staff would read about my complaint. I was just trying to move into a home more suitable for me and challenge a housing benefit decision.

I was using the Homeswapper page, for social housing tenants and was on the council bidding system. Eventually I did find an exchange, outside of their systems, on Facebook and moved home.

Giving my three-bed house to a very lovely family who had been stuck in a two bedroomed flat was a good feeling. They were overjoyed. Some families had offered me money to exchange with them, the situation desperate – but I felt if you are able to offer me thousands of pounds why do you need the property? I’m judgemental like that 

In total it had taken me two and a half years to move home. I was pleased to be away from Three Rivers District Council but I didn’t want to leave South Oxhey. My daughter is there. As soon as I moved into my new home they put an eviction notice on me because of rent arrears. I tried to point out I’d just moved in.

Universal Credit payment didn’t come straight in for my rent. It had been misallocated to another rent account before getting into mine to pay the rent. WCHT knew the reason for the late payment but still attempted to evict me. I think this action was appalling. I am thankful to still have a roof over my head.

Thankfully a charity called HertsMindLink helped me. I ended up paying an extra weeks rent but at least I’ve still got my home. Although they are refusing to remove the order which doesn’t feel very secure, I’ve called discrimination against disabled people. They didn’t accept that. 

I worry if I were to go back into hospital. I must stay well so I can fill out the forms, so I dont’ lose my home. If you don’t phone in for your benefits they will get stopped. You have to be ‘proactive’ for the current benefit system under Single Fraud Investigation Service.

But disabled people are supposed to be Protected Under UN Convention under Anti-Discrimination and Equality Laws. These laws state that any organisation over fifteen people must provide access to facilities and services for certain protected groups.

Disabled people are one of these groups. As such they are to be given assistance in achieving equality. Funding ought to be allocated accordingly by Governments and Local Authorities. The UK ratified this treaty before EU law and as such sits within The Equality Act 2010 in UK law.

For instance, ‘Age’ is a protective group, as is ‘Disabled’ and ‘Race’ – so it is appropriate for our local council to send out extra literature to ensure that no one is being discriminated against when they go for housing, education, healthcare or any other service with the borough.

Extra literature may be printed in different languages or leaflets sent around old folk’s homes to ensure they have access to a complaints line, healthcare services and leisure activities within the borough. This ensures their quality of life mentally, socially and physically.

Article 6 specifically deals with women with disabilities. It says clearly, they should be given specific consideration.  Disabled women fall under ‘Disabled’ and ‘Sex’ brackets of protection under the same laws as a non-English speaking, disabled person who would come under the protected status of ‘Disabled’ and ‘Race’. Some disabled women fall under three or four categories as they may be old and English not their first language.

Generally the laws are used to stop discrimination and ensure equality for everyone living in the borough (and those ‘visiting’) with services and facilities.

Watford Borough Council tend avoid the term ‘Sex’ and use the word ‘Gender’. I will continue to use the term ‘Sex’.  Gender in itself is protected under the laws for those whom have undergone sex transformation.

Councils do have to prove that they are monitoring the services they provide. This ensures that equality laws are being adhered to. So when I look through the councils reports and see that they are not making any allowances for disabled people to assess housing, I feel concerned.

The main areas of consideration for extra funding has gone towards ‘Age’ and ‘Race’. This isn’t me being paranoid, you can see them yourself as they are still up on their council pages. I’ve done the research.

In June or July 2014 TRDC implemented a plan to catch fraudulent claimants of housing benefit. It was called SFIS or Single Fraud Investigation Service. The scope of the experiment was to catch people claiming housing benefit illegally. It was put over all HB claimants, disabled people were not excluded.

It was just after the implementation of the bedroom tax in 2012 who to any single mum with children coming and going was a nightmare. They put the rents up the area. The job centre sent my son for work at UPS they gave him a contract for full time work for 15 hours. UPS and government think that 15 hours is a full time job – that is why employment figures are down.

My son had trouble giving me anything for keep as his journey from South Oxhey to Watford took up most of his pay. I had to prove all this. I was continually under investigation. Being asked over and over again for the same information.

I wasn’t well but I was running a little market, one day a week. Also I tried to bring in some money by selling things on ebay but it wasn’t enough to cover rent and live. The council would not make up the shortfall, but according to their rules they should.

Then the council told me they had overpaid me but I knew that I had told them every coming and going. I knew I had not claimed anything fraudulently but they are making me pay it back. It has bugged me that this amount, in total £3500 has gone down as me claiming illegally.

Since they implemented the SFPI the council have found a few fraudsters. There were higher value frauds discovered before the implementation though. Now the council are doing single fathers and mothers for hundred pounds of fraud. Before they were catching whole families and council workers who were creaming off thousands. Last year they clawed back just £400,000.

However, one benefit assessor in London was able to get away from over £1million. So why are TRDC concentrating just on housing benefit claimants? Newham council are investigating a £9million housing allocation fraud instigated by some of the council workers themselves.

My benefit assessor was Jan Dobrowolski. Who is Jan Dobrowolski? The only person around here with that name seems to have died in 1975. His grave is in Welwyn Garden City. Perhaps the police could look into that?

It all makes, what is left, of my sphincter grate.

The only Jan Dobrowolski I can find online who could have a link with the council works in mathematical modelling at Leeds University. He has heavy links with Ireland and Pakistan. Could it be the same person? The one thing this ‘scientist’ is working on is the ‘ring of finite burden’. Coincidence? It would make a good spy thriller!

There is something smelly in Three Rivers District Council and it is no longer me as I now have access to a bath. There is something smelly in Herts County Council and Watford Borough council where the housing and facilities are concerned.

But right now we need to make sure that equality rights for disabled people and women are upheld. By doing so we are really protecting the most vulnerable amongst us.

 

 

 

Stitched up so far, The Famous UCLH

So I learned how to spell, pronounce and the meaning of a new word today.

Recto enterocele is a bit of a mouthful and it’s meaning is full of implication.

It was discovered by my Gynaecologist – at another hospital, during a Laparoscopy, looking into the vaginal mesh implant I have and examining my ovaries and bladder. My ovaries were okay, a few adhesions but some draining and slicing left them looking healthy apparently and my vagina, , tubes and pelvic area looked healthy according to notes and following letter but as I mentioned, I do have recto enterocele. Not sure how I can look healthy and have this thing but that’s what the letter says.

It seems I’m unlucky in medical terms. I don’t have easy things to fix. Mainly because they tend to cross over between medical disciplines. A recto enterocele involves the bowel and the vagina. It isn’t an uncommon thing. I have had all the symptoms for over three years now. It is not rare for women to have these things so I’ve no idea why I’ve been left in pain so long with it.

And here’s the rub. I’ve actually been under Gastroenterology and been continually waved on by my consultant. Only having to manage to stay being seen by her with arguing with her staff to be seen and complaining to the hospital about her lack of attention. I’m due to see her tomorrow. I’m anxious.

Let me tell you about her clinic. I was desperate to get to it for starters. I’d been in another hospital for ten days being sick and losing weight quickly. They hadn’t worked out what was wrong with me but as I had an appointment with this clinic which was supposed to be specialist in my Ehlers Danlos connective tissue disorder it was felt I should be discharged into their care.

It was felt I needed a colonoscopy at least and other investigations to get to the cause of the vomiting . Was it linked to my constipation? My stomach itself was fine other than peptic ulcers and gastritis. Which, although unpleasant, not usually known for causing constant vomiting. Major nausea and rib pain. Also having blood and mucus in my poo and even pushing out a fart being excruciatingly painful.

I went to see the clinic at UCLH and Dr so and so. Initially things went okay and the Consultant seem to understand what was going on with me and arranged some tests for a return visit. On the return visit I had to undergo a strange lecture on how the anus works and the important of correct food etc. I explained that I had qualifications in nutrition and biology and although appreciated I didn’t understand how showing me a diagram of the bowel working correctly was particularly helpful in my case.

I did voice my concerns and explained that I had seen a nutritionist at the hospital and that my diet and lifestyle were not responsible for my sickness or extremely painful bowel movements. The male foreign nurse did not understand English very well and I felt is was just something I had to get through. I was happy that my daughter was present as I felt he really didn’t understand or choose to ignore what I was saying to him.

To be fair I was feeling grateful, I was told that some tests were being arranged for me and I would here in good time and return for the tests. Some weeks later I returned for the first of three tests arranged for me. This was a balloon test with an electric probe test. I made the mistake of attending on my own.

There was a woman present during the test. I’m not sure what her role was supposed to be but I felt she was not a compassionate woman as I pleaded with her to stop him from continuing the test as it was so painful. It was the male nurse who I had seen previously. I didn’t feel confident that he was doing the test. He seemed unable to communicate to me what was going on. I did ask him to stop the test. I felt that he did not listen to me at all. I was left crying, upset, and bleeding from my rectum. I was told it was my own fault for the bleeding as I had a sensitive anus.

I was distraught after this test. I found it very difficult to attend the next ones. They were badly scheduled too with only a week or two between them. One of them I had to try and poo in an MRI machine. yep.  No, I couldn’t do it. I started throwing up in the MRI machine and got taken out of there in a wheelchair I became so ill. I hadn’t had enough time to prepare and empty my bowel properly before they put up the jelly I was supposed to poo out. Also just pushing my anus in an outward movement really hurts so much that vomiting seems the only way my body knows how to handle that sort of pressure.

The other test involved eating loads of metal objects to see where they were in a weeks’ time. Guess what they were still all in me! Slow transit for sure! So one test come back with results which meant something to me as the other tests were not able to be completed properly as too painful. But no. I did this test just a week before the poo in the machine test….where was the sense in that ? If after ten days the metal bearings are still inside me how was I supposed to empty my bowel in the week before the next test? Then knowing I have problem emptying my bowel they pulled me in twenty minutes before the scan due time to ’empty my bowel’….the pressure was immense.

Anyhow, I needn’t have worried. It seems that I had nothing wrong with me. The tests showed I had no problem pooing in the machine (remember I didn’t actually do this as I got removed from the machine as I was vomiting) and that somehow all was fine with the balloon test and electro probe tests results too. There was no mention of any set of tests or scans being a problem for me. None.

So, this means that, whilst I was telling the uncompassionate male nurse that I could not feel the ‘electric pulse’ only pain that this is a normal occurrence perhaps. Even when he moved it around in my arse and I could still only feel pain and repeated would he now stop. Even when he moved it a little deeper in I could only feel pain to the point where I snapped at the female nurse in the room whether she could hear me as he seemed to not be able to…he then stopped. All that was normal stuff it seems…..

When the consultant met with me to discuss the results and recommend bowel retraining program I was so shocked I didn’t know how to respond. I did the bowel retraining program. I saw her afterwards and again voiced my concerns about the level of pain and that the scan results seemed suspect and that I didn’t understand the balloon and electro probe results. She dismissed me on this again but agreed to send me to see a neurologist to find cause of vomiting and also check on some heart test results which had shown I had a very low blood pressure level, which could be why I pass out. She asked me in an annoyed fashion if I would like her to actually check that there was no damage to my rectum after I voiced concerns that she may be missing something. A rather uncomfortable rectal examination followed where she told me that there was nothing wrong. I felt a little silly.

I’ve been back to the mental health services. I thought maybe I was making it up or somehow I was making myself ill. And of course I’ve learnt how unlucky I have been over the last few months. It seems the TVT they kindly put in as an extra when I had  a hysterectomy is made from silicon.

I didn’t need it, my bladder was fine I had endometriosis and a connective tissue disorder. The TVT caused problems immediately. I lost feeling in my clitoris, had problems emptying my bladder on the ward after the operation and then slowly over the next fifteen years my sex life completely. I did immediately asked for help but was told it was other medications I was on and I was eventually diagnosed with interstitial cystitis in 2009.

Then last year I started reading about the TVT and it’s complications. Until then, from 2006 to 2017 I firmly believed it was what I was eating, drinking etc and my lifestyle which was causing my bladder issues – again seeking help from mental health services because I’m being pushed from one hospital to another attempting to find some relief.

I carry on being sick a couple of times a month these days and try to stand up for more than a few minutes at a time but the pain in my arse, back, abdomen and vagina conspire against me and my legs buckle. I sit and I move slowing to avoid passing out. I sometimes use a wheelchair, I often use a walking stick. I rarely leave the house other than to visit the hospital.

So tomorrow I go and see my Gastro Consultant. I will be armed with a letter from my Gynae saying I have rectoentrocele. I’ve looked up the symptoms and they are painful pooing, wind expulsion, blood and mucus. So I’m going to try not to be too anxious about seeing this so called specialist and then try and be a very patient patient.

She will probably say it’s a Gynae thing. I’ve yet to see my Gynae since the last surgery. So I’m unsure as to whether they will help as it may be a complication of the TVT although the tape itself in intact still thankfully.

I can’t help feeling what a waste of NHS money and my time and all the staff involved in the tests I had done which weren’t carried out properly. They could have been carried out in a way which would have worked I’m sure but the scheduling and the staff and her own attitude was rubbish. Three years and counting. Been off sick on benefits for the last two so I can’t help thinking that under the guise of ‘helping’ the NHS is doing more to make us sick.