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5 Common myths about Pelvic Organ Prolapse

“I was just showering and reached down and suddenly noticed a bulge” “I had no idea something was wrong until my doctor examined me and told me I have a stage 2 cystocele” “I started feeling heaviness in my pelvis, then was wiping after I went to the bathroom, and noticed something was there!” Pelvic […]

5 Common myths about Pelvic Organ Prolapse

Reblogged from this amazing site for women.

South African Women Be Careful

We know the media do their own things these days and news isn’t what it was. The mesh scandal was quickly swallowed up by covid19 news here in the UK.

The TVT polypropylene – the vaginal sort. It is dangerous and pharma are now going to push it at other countries. In order to make you want it they may tell you it’s worked really well here, it hasn’t.

And I found this…


The ban is in place for a reason. You are not being denied something that is good. It was not licenced in your country because it isn’t safe. PR companies will be writing articles saying how wonderful it is. Terms like ‘gold standard’ will be used and they will claim only a tiny percentage suffer side effects.

We have fought long and hard to be listened to in our countries. Many of us are maimed and more of us cannot have sex comfortably, if at all. Plus, we still have the wee problem.

The same firm who makes them, Johnson and Johnson, advertise constantly on our TVs to sell us the pads to clear up after our bladders. Ironic.

However, we organised, we’ve realised that many of us had untreated bugs in our bladder before the operations and that was partly responsible for the loss of control.

Rather than sort this out they claim it’s our physiological makeup and surgically attempt to fix us.

It is always down to the individual but a life without sex is pretty grim. The Gynaes here have dismissed us for decades with comment like “you can still do anal”. (Not everyone likes anal).

Stay safe and please do not believe everything the pharma tells you. Look to traditional methods.

There is an old surgical method which was used for centuries which doesn’t involve shoving plastic in your pelvic region. A couple of stitches in the right place. Could be done with cameras etc still. Do not let them put plastic inside you. It makes you feel ill.

Thanks for reading.

End of today’s rant.

Prostitutes Aren’t Lazy.

A woman who had attended University and was working full time for a large accountancy firm felt the need to be very judgemental. At the time she was squatting a property with the sole purpose of saving enough money to buy a house in London.

Her name was blah as it doesn’t matter. This woman had the nerve to state that ‘prostitutes are lazy’. Her statement has stayed with me, it was said in 1991. She, and her partner of a couple of years, were hosting a party in Woodgreen, London. I’m still agonising over its implications today.

Three decades to respond is a bit of a record. There is a reason for this. Pure shock is the first reason. Imagine hearing something which you knew to be false but the consensus of all the people around you is that it is true. Also realising very quickly I was not in an environment where this could be actually discussed as I’d already been judged.

It was years later that I discovered why her perception was as it was. Her partner wanted to help me. He thought, as she did, that working as an escort was beneath me. He thought I could do more. Achieve more in the sex industry. Academics…

He introduced me to BDSM. Strange how someone can be involved in the sex industry but not know about this huge part of it. I had been in the vanilla world, working in the BDSM world without knowing the rules.

He tells of this lady’s sex life, and her thing was ‘rape fantasy’ – it is, according to several magazines,  one of the most common fantasies that women have. It did occur to me and still does that this is how she must perceive all sexual interactions. The lady lies down whilst the man takes what he wants from her and she is fulfilled by this.

However, this is a fantasy for her. For her this is a position of freedom. It’s topping from the bottom in BDSM terms, so they say. If she were to say, ‘hang on’, or ‘that hurts’ or simply ‘stop’ her partner would. She cannot perceive a real prostitute’s life. She cannot and doesn’t understand what it is like not to have sexual freedom.

So, for her, the judgement of laziness upon ‘women of ill refute’ is well deserved. Because for her, sex is a pleasure she can give and take at will. She can choose to let her partner have her or not. She literally doesn’t know how to work up a sweat performing head because she wants to or is made to.

When a person is the product and that is what prostitution is, there is a service to be delivered. That service is undefined. getting to what the client (western civilised speak will not allow me to call him ‘john’) actually wants can be a real chore, basically it’s trial and error, often resulting in wasted efforts of the prostitute until the client finally indicates what he wants.

Then the client has the choice to to see the same girl again as he doesn’t’ want to explain again or he wants someone different because he likes to see the agony of the girl not knowing what she should be doing. His choice, not hers – generally. As with all work a client can say they are dissatisfied.

Most people do not have the communication skill to interpret what sex they want until that sexual behaviour has been shown to them and has a label. For the uninitiated this can be a disturbing and dangerous journey. There are many illusions about sex.

One of the most basic and necessary parts of our lives is sex. Yet so many people are still in the dark about sexuality. How can this even be? I feel it’s time to hear from the muse, the model and the whore. I’d like to hear everything they have to say. I’m fed up of hearing the client side all the time. Especially politically.

Well, lady in the garden in Woodgreen, you with the academic, mental, social and emotional capability better than Me – I managed to grow and educate myself enough to be able to tell you that you’re wrong.  Your judgement of me during those years ought to haunt you. I doubt it does. I’m suspecting you have a pretty great life to be honest, you seemed to have it all sorted back in 1991.

Perhaps you have children now and have mellowed your judgements, I suspect not as I suspect you still sit in judgement of others less well off, less educated and more desperate than you are. Ah, now I judge you and I don’t ‘even know where you are, I hope that I am wrong. Perhaps you already confronted with your prejudices.

Perhaps her sex  life is how most women’s sex lives are. I have no idea. I only know what my sex life is like. I only know what my sex life has been like over the last fifty years and can only comment what I know to be my facts.

For thirteen years of my adult life I prostituted myself. I worked, when necessary, as a call girl or escort to cover rent and food. I didn’t work the streets. Thankful for this one fact as I thought that should I ever work the street I may as well just throw the towel in altogether.

I met women who did work the streets. Those girls with knees like sandpaper and bones like feathers. The really lost ones. They aren’t just women of course, there are men and boys too. So often it’s only women who are ‘fallen’ etc…

It’s a hidden society used and abused by those with money and power. The street prostitutes would try and gain some protection, a dog or a friend, the authorities would find a way to take the protection them. Not allowing them into premises if they were high or had their dog, forcing them back out on the street again.

No one reports on sex worker rapes or deaths as they are the lowest of the low.

Sex workers are hard workers. They work harder than you will ever have to work. That woman sat there in judgement of me and prostitutes whilst squatting someone else’s property,  didn’t pay rates, rent or council tax the whole time. You bought a lovely little house in Southgate, you had family and support from friends and will never really know what it is like to struggle.

Well I ask you to look in the mirror at yourself and ask you to judge yourself under the same criteria. I ask you to judge yourself rather than me or other women who decide to or are forced to work in the sex industry. Shame on you not them.

You and your partner were huge cocaine users. Yep, I’m going there. As you should know cocaine does cause nerve deadening. You try getting your man off after he has been using coke all night, the feeling in his mind does not mean blood is going to where it ought. Jaw ache is an understatement. That is hard, hard work.

There will be hundreds of men calling prostitutes tonight and tomorrow night. When those girls arrive at that client’s door they don’t know what is going to happen to them. They are the bravest women on the planet and they keep the secrets of the powerful.

Prostitutes aren’t lazy, blimey just think of all the poor girls your old man has had to convince to help him over the years. He did convince me to check out the BDSM world, it’s not for me but I did learn so much about the real power in our country.

Maybe I will start sharing a bit more about those thirteen years…

I’m thankful to have a voice. Comment or move along…

Viva la web, past caring, not sharing.

Iconology Vs Numerology Vs Publishing

wow we have so much to look forward to with all the plans to ensure our wonderful planet is looked after and loved. I noticed that religion was using publishing to educate people incorrectly and shared a numerology secret.

It has been a strange time for me. After I shared my awakening knowledge that 666 actually meant Gypsy Fox I got bombarded with viruses and abuses online and off. Then I found a book I had at school which is called country crafts. It contains some terrible history and mis-information about other cultures. Printed by the AA it makes me wonder how long industries have been dirtying the waters.

I can just see the sun through the clouds as I look out across Watford, I can see the Harry Potter studios from my flat. There isn’t much land here but we all know how important this land is to some. The Munden Estate is already a mini American Israeli state with media all over it. Then we have the George Harrison Hari Krishna crew who don’t worship Krishna anymore but something similar. Regardless of your beliefs this land is still pagan land.

The Seventhday folks homestead on Sheepcotes Lane can also be seen from my flat. My big tower block must really spoil their view. They should know I sent them blessings too for every time they pray for me. The local traveller community are taking a big hit with the new developments. A local boy was knocked off his bike and paralysed, the man who did it got off as he claimed he was scared.

Life is sad, they say to me. I don’t think so. Sad things happen but I still can hear the birds singing. Spring break is here, Beltane, Easter, Passover whatever you like to call this time of year. Summer will be upon us and soon and it is time to sow your seeds for growth. My mood is somewhat lighter, what about yours? What are your plans for the coming year?

So many changes have happened to protect our earth and those who live within its’ space. Yet there is still so much mis-information about the achievements made. Be sure to search for good local news. With so many of our local papers being owned by American companies it is difficult to get an unbiased story.

Did you know that judges held the Native Americans line for them? Great times as we move towards. Pipelines will not be put across Americans great plains for fuel firms against the community and countryside wishes. It’s good to know the law still holds. We must ensure the same for our country.

Now we have issues to do with women’s equality and child safeguarding to deal with. Women are of every race regardless of faith and as such should be and will be protected in America and the UK, where we have influence . We mustn’t allow faiths to continue to force women into marriages and families which do not have their best interests at heart.

For too long we have let race and faith dictate our social attitude. This has to stop. We are the same but different. Morality, Honour, Respect, Family are all terms used to oppress women and children in our western societies. This judgement of humanity by humanity for God, Allah or Mermaids or other such doctrines must be stopped.

To create is human.  No god has ever created anyone or ever will. People are created by the union of sex between people. Sex is normal and healthy.

FashionableFaithGroups it is time for you to look in the mirror at yourselves not others.

What a few days April 2019 has been – let’s fill the rest with peace. NO more lies about other peoples. We have the web and should be taking down fences and boundary’s not allowing others in to put them up!!! I say no to religious freedom because it does take away my freedoms and gives to much power to the family unit.

Time is now.

I am jealous and frightened of transgender women. But I may live longer now because of it!

As a natural born woman I am jealous and frightened of transgender women. But I may live longer now because of it!

Jealous is a strong word. It’s more envy. I just did a little research on the condition and within minutes I found a great treatment, clinic and medication and a huge array of doctors as well as support groups and laws protecting transgender or non binary persons NBP.

I met my first NBP in 1990 when I was 21 and living in Brighton, East Sussex in the UK. Stephen, a pilot, had been in previously with his family and done a modelling course at the model agency I worked at. He came into the agency again once he had transitioned. When he presented himself as Stephanie on his return I did the right thing and ignored the change. Being polite and professional was easy. I was more than a little in awe of them.

Stephanie was so brazen. Wearing sexy clothes during the day. Great wigs and make up. She usually hung-over too, so must have some form of social life, even if it was the ability to enjoy a bottle of wine alone. I can’t drink. But I assumed, rightly or wrongly, that these transgender women were definitely having a better life than I was! She was more confident than I could ever dream of being.

Brighton being the town it is I imagined that they were dancing away the nights and to be fair they didn’t appear to really work. I knew that the club’s stilt- walkers were often transgenders and when I went to London night clubs NBP would be present on the dance floors with their colourfully outrageous outfits.

Stephanie introduced another NBP who was pre op. Nikkie. Nikkie was on feminising hormones but essentially still a man. Nikkie wanted set of transitional pictures. So at her first photo shoot he had budding breasts and a penis. We did an assortment of poses with the penis out with the penis in etc – penis was never hard and the session was in no way sexual.

After her op Nikkie came back with her vagina, bigger breasts and great hair. We did the final pictures and I did try to help with her makeup but kept getting the cotton wool stuck in her stubbled chin. Embarrassed, I eventually just let her do it. I like to think that I took these things in my stride and if Nikkie is still out there she remembers it as a positive experience. I’m still unsure how I feel about it all. I do remember that I wasn’t asked.  Stephanie and I kept in contact.

Stephanie and I met again when I lived and worked in London in the late 1990s. She had become older and wiser basically, but was wearing female things –  nylons with court shoes. She hadn’t shaved her legs that day so the hair was matting on the inside of the nylons. I’ve seen natural born women doing the same thing. It looks bad, like squashed worms.

I also have my own, until now, private, issues towards gender. When i was very young before five years old I used to pull my inner labia out to try and make it a penis. As I got older, during puberty in particular , I tried to shove it all in again, desperate to try and make my genitals look like the dolls we used to have. But with inner labia falling a good centimetre below the outer labia that wasn’t going to happen. I hated my whole genital area. I never touched myself or investigated other than to wash very quickly – in case God was watching (oh the shame).

How I envied how these transgender women, knowing so much about their bodies and sex. In my father’s eye women behaved like women…they didn’t pick up tools, they cooked, cleaned, looked after children. For example both my sister and I had to do the dishes from before we were ten years old. Neither of my brothers did. When I showed an interest in working on the tools with him he would not have me in the garage.

It was no surprise that I decided on becoming a secretary and learnt typing and cooking skills. My school in 1984 would not let me do Graphic design or continue with the woodwork as I was female. To say I was disappointed with being female would have been an understatement but I got on with it and as I went on to became a mother I suppose I am grateful. In many ways I am blessed but it’s not easy.

So, as a female, I have had to deal with others being intolerant of my personal needs and stomping all over them all my life.

Also, as I was given up by my natural mother, driven into prostitution by poverty and child sexual abuse I have actually begged for mental health help. I’ve told them the truth. I’m angry. I want to get better. I don’t want more diagnoses = I want treatments. Coming off the antidepressants was the best thing for me. The brain fog lifted. I started researching. I found no help for me or others going through much worse.

When I found the gender identity clinics in the UK I felt cheated. When I found out that they get 40% of the mental health funding I got suspicious. Seems like something is wrong there….when I rang the rape/sexual abuse crisis line I discovered that the number on the shiny lip gloss was only good for Thursday evenings between 7.30pm and 9.30pm.

So my envy is not, in my view, ill placed. I felt even more justified when during my research I found that transgenders tend to be living longer… the combination of good health monitoring and hormone therapy is prolonging their lives. I was fascinated.

The very next day I contacted my GP. I’ve now been on the patch for five weeks. I feel great. And I have my envy at how well transgender people are treated within the NHS to thank for it. Now that the brain fog, continual chills/hot flushes/flashes, nausea and memory problems have cleared I’ll be insisting on that mental health help too.

Oh I’m angry. Real angry.

I’m updating this post as I decided after another wasted visit to the Upton Road adult mental health unit to discharge myself from mental health services. Four years waiting for treatment was doing me harm.

The HRT and this blog have saved me from acting out on my anger, it’s important to understand how beneficial these hormones are to our mental health as well as our physical health. Let’s make sure that there is enough hormone replacement for all.


Edited as I’ve now come off HRT. UK national health service kept swapping brand, amount of dosage and the breast clinic wouldn’t take me seriously over pain and cysts whilst I’m on the HRT. All very disappointing.