Tag Archives: TVT

Adult, Ethics, Health, mesh, right to healthcare, unextraordinarybint

The Problem with Shagging Sheep.

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Comments on the medical device TVT mesh.

There is some talk of TVT mesh implants and how they have ruined women’s lives around the globe, but not enough, in my opinion, as it’s a scandal.

It’s development is interesting. The TVT’s inventor piloted the initial study on sheep. Unfortunately, the gentleman died but his work was continued…He worked for Johnson & Johnson. They recognised the monetary value in a product which would cause problems for life…and also supply Tena lady.

TVT is a questionable treatment for an ‘out of control’ bladder after childbirth and it was promoted as ‘the gold standard solution’.

It was designed to be implanted for life. Essentially it is a long tape placed around the bladder. It replaced existing operations and saved an hour in theatre.

It’s made from polypropylene plastic mesh – the same material the marine life have problems with.

The TVT is wrapped, blindly with needles, around the outside of the vagina, under the bladder and through the pelvic bone – if you are lucky the surgeons will miss your skene gland, rectum and clitoris.

It ought to be mentioned, originally it was designed for ‘awake’ patients so the tension could be adjusted.

I want to go back to the pilot though. I’m assuming that they used the TVT mesh on sheep who’d previously given birth AND who accidentally wet themselves. I pity the research student whose job it was to find suitable candidates for study.

How many days were really spent finding pissy sheep?

A problem with TVT mesh, is as the plastic gets older it shrinks. It can make penetrative sex difficult/impossible and generally it causes severe pain as your other organs move against it.

How did they research the sexual element with sheep? Assuming they bothered.

And then, how would the researchers extrapolate the data? I’m thinking all the comforting cups of tea in China will not get a sheep talking. And, were the sheep checked afterwards to see if they were still dribbling? Did they put smelling salts under their noses to induce a sneeze?

There is also the bipedal thing…I know it’s small but surely an important factor?

How could they check if the sheep could lift something? A sheep has never worked in it’s life.

Whatever, I await removal.

Thanks for reading.

Edited to add cartoon and to say coincidence or not (day after I posted this piece) the media have covered many personal stories as news regarding mesh implants. But they are muddying the waters by suggesting these implants are biological. They are not all mesh is synthetic or synthetic based polypropylene. Also,, there is some suggestion that the implants have just not been fitted correctly…no, it is more than that so all these pieces people are being fed in the media have been bent out of shape to stop the blame falling at the medical devices doorstep – where it firmly belongs.

 

Health, mesh, right to healthcare, united kingdom

Hard

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Is that Samantha Harris?

Yes.

I’m the consultant who took over your case last year.

Oh, hello.

Sorry, it’s taken so long to get back to you.

‘pleasantries’

Bombshell

The hospital can no longer perform the surgery to remove the TVT mesh. We were unable to secure funding.

Yes, we do have the expertise to remove TVT mesh by laparoscopy.

No, the clinic which has been funded doesn’t have the expertise.

I’m sorry Ms Harris.

Yes, I will write to your GP who will need to refer you to the removal clinic.

Bye.

Thank you Doctor. Bye.

Summing up as I can’t write about this. It hurts too much.

Disabled/Differently Abled, Health, lung and heart disease, mesh, right to healthcare, united kingdom, womens rights

No Better – Review Stapled Hemorrhoidopexy. Honest/Blunt.

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A week ago I had my appointment at NHS colorectal specialist regarding my butt pain.

This is now the third hospital I’ve been seen for looking into this. I wish they’d share medical records… I’m reminded of how, last decade, I used to go from hospital to hospital over the bladder pain. Then I read an article which told me it could be the TVT polypropylene mesh.

I read through the doctors letters that I had and saw that it was being mentioned as okay when I wasn’t really aware that this was what they were looking at.

Each consultant said the same thing “no erosion of the TVT”. I know now that there is no possible way they could have seen this by these investigations and each one of them lied.

Taking you back to 2005 when I had an Hysterectomy for Endometriosis because of night sweats and crippling pain. I was discharged from the ward six days after my surgery without clearing my bowels. I was re-admitted five days later having still not cleared my bowels.

Four years after that I am having a Stapled Hemorrhoidopexy, which I am unaware is a new procedure. The story of getting to that point is a whole book of horrors for another day.

I wake after the Stapled Hemorrhoidopexy in what the medical profession disgustingly call “exquisite pain”. That is not the correct term. The correct term would be horrific pain that will never be forgotten, worse than child birth. I woke screaming like a banshee. There was nothing exquisite about it. Sick sacks.

If you look up Stapled Hemorrhoidopexy, the gumph will tell you it is a painless, minimal invasive procedure and that you will be back to work the next day. It is not true. Far from it. This is a cut and shunt that you will be lucky to be standing up comfortably the next week, let alone the next day.

It definitely doesn’t suit everyone and if you have Ehlers Danlos like myself I would recommend not having it and demanding the older technique with biological material and a gentle hand. A huge mechanical stapler being shoved up your arse is not easy to recover from.

I have not yet found out what they used to fix the cut, the surgeon told me it was a ‘composite ring’. I am in the process of getting my medical records because of the TVT Mesh case I am trying to bring against the NHS, I am trying to find what this ‘composite ring’ is made of…because of my butt pain whilst I’m there.

It’s been eleven years since I had the Stapled Hemroidplexy to correct my evacuation problems. It didn’t work. It never worked and now it’s incredibly painful and has been for a few years – getting worse as time goes by.

Care is bad for women patients in the NHS. Since closing the women’s hospitals we have to travel hundreds of miles. I’m in so much pain, it is incredibly hard to to travel to several different areas of the country for what is essentially an inch difference on my body.

Common sense seems to have left the building and thousands of people are left on benefits because of operations and procedures like this…it costs the government and the tax payer millions.

During my recent (Dec 2020) consultation I was not asked my history…we didn’t have time. My kind doctor told me that my upper and lower abdominal CT Scan, poo sample and blood results had all came back normal.

To me, that is instantly worrying. They’d done a chest CT too… I have bullous lung disease, or cystic lungs…clearly visible on a scan if any one looks at it. At stage four I have a heavy shadow on my right lung unavoidable to any eye let alone a trained eye of a radiographer.

As a patient being told that they can find nothing wrong when you are unable to sit down during the consultation is an unpleasant situation. I had no option but to have the poor consultant physically examine me. She would be sure to feel the rectroentrocele (or something) to show that I am not mental.

There is no understatement when I say it really fecking hurt.

Like last year at Watford General, it was very difficult and upsetting.

More painful was her finding something, checking with me that it hurt, and then pushing on it…the pressure made my heart flip and my ears pop. I tried to go through the wall on the other side of the bench to get away from her soul pressing finger.

The doctor handed me a wipe and some tissues. Getting dressed I wondered what she had found and how on earth I was going to get through Christmas in so much pain.

The doc has told me I am in pelvic spasm and given me some cream to use until I see her again early next year. I will let you know how it goes. I’m due to see her again in February 2021 – unless we are still in covid19 lockdown and it’s cancelled.

Thanks for reading.

Poor guy.https://www.researchgate.net/publication/51172093_Hemoperitoneum_as_severe_and_unusual_complication_in_the_stapler_recto-anopexy_for_hemorrhoidal_prolapse_Case_report

Adult, Disabled/Differently Abled, Ethics, Health, mesh, real pagans, right to healthcare, sex, womens rights

South African Women Be Careful

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We know the media do their own things these days and news isn’t what it was. The mesh scandal was quickly swallowed up by covid19 news here in the UK.

The TVT polypropylene – the vaginal sort. It is dangerous and pharma are now going to push it at other countries. In order to make you want it they may tell you it’s worked really well here, it hasn’t.

And I found this…

https://www.medicalbrief.co.za/archives/sa-specialists-argue-bladder-sling-surgery-despite-nice-ban-recommendation/
LIARS

The ban is in place for a reason. You are not being denied something that is good. It was not licenced in your country because it isn’t safe. PR companies will be writing articles saying how wonderful it is. Terms like ‘gold standard’ will be used and they will claim only a tiny percentage suffer side effects.

We have fought long and hard to be listened to in our countries. Many of us are maimed and more of us cannot have sex comfortably, if at all. Plus, we still have the wee problem.

The same firm who makes them, Johnson and Johnson, advertise constantly on our TVs to sell us the pads to clear up after our bladders. Ironic.

However, we organised, we’ve realised that many of us had untreated bugs in our bladder before the operations and that was partly responsible for the loss of control.

Rather than sort this out they claim it’s our physiological makeup and surgically attempt to fix us.

It is always down to the individual but a life without sex is pretty grim. The Gynaes here have dismissed us for decades with comment like “you can still do anal”. (Not everyone likes anal).

Stay safe and please do not believe everything the pharma tells you. Look to traditional methods.

There is an old surgical method which was used for centuries which doesn’t involve shoving plastic in your pelvic region. A couple of stitches in the right place. Could be done with cameras etc still. Do not let them put plastic inside you. It makes you feel ill.

Thanks for reading.

End of today’s rant.

Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, Health, home, mental health, mesh, right to healthcare, united kingdom

Nooooooo

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I was told in 2009 that my lungs would collapse in two years – so everything is gravy to me…

However, there are some things which happen in my life that, although terrible at face value may serve as a lesson of some sort to someone. This story is not for the faint hearted or the weak stomached. If you retch at the thought of poo, this true story will hurt so just stop reading.

I don’t want to be responsible for ruining your day. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Today is one of those days, the incident which happened a few hours ago is a life changing event. That is, I’m so grossed out I am having issues sharing. This is my reality and it’s VERY real so it’s happening.

Sharing helps me to come to terms with the adjustment of increasing disability and the loss I feel. Plus, you must laugh at yourself otherwise you are really lost to the dark side of life.

I awoke feeling knackered from a unrestorative sleep. I padded around the flat trying to stand up straight – this happens to all of us, eventually – and I let the dog out. I make my very weak coffee attend the bathroom, feed the dog, and watch some videos on YouTube.

It’s a slow morning. The weather is grey with streaks of light coming through, a beautiful, normal day.

Bruiser (the dog) has recently become a house guest (again) and we are getting on famously. He was sleeping on the floor when I got up to scribble something down – a popular pastime of mine – and I as I walked across the room, I let out some wind. Quite normal you’d think, although a little embarrassing.

However, a piece of poo flew out of me and down my trouser bottoms so fast, it hardly had time to register, before Bruiser jumped up and ate it. I managed to scream, “noooo”. But it was gone.

Two things.

One is that I’m mortified. The expelling of bowel contents without one’s prior knowledge is a shock. This could be because of the TVT mesh and Stapled Hemroidplexy which I stupidly agreed to. Regardless, this will take some getting used to.

The second is the dog. He ate my poo. He came up to me afterwards for a cuddle. ‘was not happening as I couldn’t look at him. I still can’t, if I’m honest lol. Will our relationship ever be the same?

It took me two hours to stop crying. Two hours. My top was drenched. I then started laughing. This could be the start of a symbolic relationship. I mean I pick up his poo and place it in a bag to bin it. Perhaps he could follow me around and clean up after me? It would save me a fortune in adult nappies (tears again).

I live in a built-up area and the law states one must do this ‘poo picking’. Most dog owners take this responsibility seriously but do not like to discuss it. It occurred to me that perhaps he is returning the favor? However, if this were the case surely, he could eat his own and save me the bother of picking it up at all?

Once I had stopped crying and made an appointment for the doctor, I thought I’d call my daughter and gross her out too… After all, it is a time of ‘sharing is caring’. I did prepare her, before telling her, but that didn’t stop her hand drawing up across her mouth in shock…

After retching some, she laughed and told me not to worry about it. Apparently, this was one of the reasons they had a lock on the babies’ nappy bin.

So, what does this teach us? It certainly has taught me not to rely on wind just being wind.

Thanks for reading.

Climate Change, Disabled/Differently Abled, Fossil Fuels, Health, mens rights, mesh, news, policy and allocation of funds in uk, politics, right to healthcare, united kingdom, womens rights

Johnson, Johnson And Johnson.

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https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/dec/12/doctors-not-told-full-risk-vaginal-mesh-implants-bbc-panorama

The above article may be two years old but this is the same firm, Johnson & Johnson, our Government, led by Boris Johnson, has trusted to make the covid19 vaccine. The firm which tricked doctors and patients into accepting plastic polymer implants has been awarded more money.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8626619/UK-buys-potential-COVID-19-vaccines-J-J-Novavax.html

https://indianexpress.com/article/explained/covid-19-coronavirus-vaccine-update-october-14-6725217/

You could not make it up. Johnson & Johnson are a well known pharma company. They have a good name. They made it through marketing and advertising. My consultant, and others within the NHS, got monetary kickbacks from them for using their products.

The products were unsafe and many, myself included, are waiting for the complicated removal of their products to start. My surgery is continually and frustratingly postponed for one reason or another, time and time again. My recovery will take a long time once it actually starts.

The mesh, made from polypropylene, was not checked for engineering coefficients with the human body. It still hasn’t been. Yet, the medical profession are still using it to fix hernias. The current restrictions on pelvic implantation do not go far enough and the NHS decided against an outright ban.

Many mesh injury stories are not covered in the media. Thousands of men and women have been injured by this device first designed and marketed by Johnson & Johnson. Docs are using other mesh polymers like sticking plasters and ignoring the side effects. It’s a ticking time bomb.

The Government’s in bed with two of the biggest players on our globe. Pharma and Oil.

However, fossil fuel companies don’t want you looking at this 2.8 billion dollar plastic medical market in a bad light, it’s bad for investment. So, in a smoke and mirrors move, they fund the ‘clean the ocean of plastic’ campaign and use the media to attack drinking straws to tire you of the subject of plastic altogether. It works, I’m fed up of plastic talk.

TV and media is saturated with news stories of climate change and recycling written by paid PR.

The United Kingdom of the British Isles banned plastic drinking straws in England in April 2019. Yes, it is actually now illegal to buy or sell them here. I break the law regularly by asking people to bring some back with them when they go abroad…sshh.

It should be noted that no one has died as a direct result of an altercation with a plastic straw nor has any injury or damage been inflicted by one.

Zero straw companies have been taken to court for damages.

The same cannot be said for medical mesh.

The same cannot be said for Johnson & Johnson.

As a woman I’ve never felt so imprisoned. I was in medical lockdown for four years before the rest of the world was with covid19! Imprisoned by mesh and what it has done to my mobility and health.

Thanks to covid19; I am one among billions, locked safely in our homes, waiting with baited breath for news from doctors, from pharma companies and our governments.

Now my jailer’s are Johnson, Johnson & Johnson.

Obviously, with a J&J’s polymer device festering, painfully inside my abdomen I’m not going to feel great but what a slap in the face it was to hear that J & J received funding to make a covid19 vaccine after what they done to me.

Earlier this year Matt Hancock stood in front of cameras and apologised to me. He said the NHS and the government owe mesh victims a massive apology. And, then that was that. Forgive me, but that is not enough. No where near it. The fucking audacity of the man. I want this plastic shit out of me. I don’t think its too much to ask. I’ve been very patient.

“Money over morality.” That should really be the medical professions moto, or perhaps the more truthful, “Please be wary of us, we do harm” should be signposted outside every NHS Trust.

Before Johnson and Johnson are allowed to create more victims with these trials and tests on NHS patients for covid19 vaccines, surely some priority should be given to quantify and try to rectify the damage done to those of us already here through their other products?

How can a multinational company be allowed to operate against humanity and the planet’s environmental interests in the UK without any restriction? And how can they be given government funding after it’s be proven that they have done harm to patients by putting profits before safety?

Lots of questions and no answers for me. I just see all the greed and fully expect their gluttony will overcome them before any scruples will.

Ah, the drinking straws. Our gov banned them outright in such a short time regardless of the call from the disabled. It’s amazing what a so called democratic society’s government can do if they want.

They don’t want to look at plastics in medicine…it’s worth too much money. Banning the straws was a token gesture against plastic. Giving the money to J&J for the covid19 vaccine proves that NHS patients will continue to be the guinae pigs they have been for years.

What a shit show.

Thanks for reading…

Disabled/Differently Abled, Health, mesh, policy and allocation of funds in uk

Mesh, Not Counting the Costs.

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This week I attended the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford, England. I gratefully drove the hour or so there from my home in Watford, I queued for forty five minutes to gain entry into their car park and was awarded with an early consultation with surgical Gynaecologist, Dr Natalie Price.

Now, I had been warned that Doctor Price was pro mesh and wouldn’t remove mesh unless it was a private affair or patients meet the strict NHS removal criteria. This being that the plastic needs to be physically cutting through your organs in what is termed as ‘mesh erosion’ and the doctors need to be able to see it.

Knowing this and being an NHS patient I decided to arrive prepared. I entered my long awaited consultation armed with a statement of my patient journey. I also had all the letters which the statement alluded to. My aim was to show that since the TVT implantation I have had bladder pain and infection and that it has taken over my life.

I didn’t want to be accused to having just heard about mesh issues and was ‘jumping on the bandwagon’ because of media insurance claim cases. As I just want my life back and only have the NHS to help me I must tread carefully.

One of the major problems with the NHS Health Care System is that hospitals are not able to see what medical data another hospital has on you or view your GP notes. Patients have to give their own history and list what they have already had investigated within the fifteen minute time slot.

To save time during the consultation and to ensure I didn’t miss anything out (I was anxious and bound to babble) I listed the journey my bladder has already taken…it resembled War&Peace and was edited to the basics to ensure it could be read. I’ll put it at the end of this blog piece.

Of course to keep it simple I didn’t correlate it with my loss of earnings, social status, self esteem and emotional health. I didn’t even correlate it with change of professions to suit the illness as it’s progressed. I didn’t list the music I no longer play with my band. I didn’t list the boyfriends I’d lost because I couldn’t leave the house or ride them like I used to.

I also felt I shouldn’t mention the problems one has attempting to claim disability or the problems I’ve had finding a pad to wear that doesn’t cause outer cysts or how much the itching distracts me whenever I’m trying to have a conversation.

The additional pain in my legs or back was not mentioned as I know this could be attributed to other illnesses I have in Elhers Danlos – although I’m pretty sure that the numbness in my arms and legs will improve when I can walk again.

Tempted I didn’t add up the costs of all the medical intervention I’ve had to look into my bladder against them just admitting the TVT could be a problem at the start and giving me the colpolspension required. After all the TVT was preferred because it saved two hours surgery time…although already known to cause problems.

I couldn’t fault Dr Natalie Price. I liked her demeanour and her attempt to get me to measure my expectations of what could be done on the NHS. I wish I wasn’t poor. From what I understand it would cost in the region of £50,000 to have done privately.

Dr Price examined me and felt that I do have mesh erosion but it must be definite and she must convince the other surgeons that my life would be improved by having it removed as often a patient is ‘worse off’ after TVT removal. I asked her what ‘worse off ‘ would look like.  I realise that was unfair of me.

So, now more waiting for the wheels of the NHS to move to organise scans and another cystoscopy at Oxford for me.

For those of you reading this with no previous knowledge of TVT mesh it is a polypropylene plastic which is used instead of organic material in surgery.

Thanks for reading.

Below is long and boring list of the doctors and hospitals involved so far.

This is my current mesh journey:

May 2004 My Rheumatologist, Prof. Graham from University College Hospital London, wrote to Mr Hextal to request a colposuspension (regular operation used to help women with bladder prolapse, usually after childbirth).

August 2004 Mr Hextal performed cystoscopy (under General Anaesthesia) and laser treatment for endometriosis and to look at the inside of the bladder.

In April 2005 under General Anaesthesia a Hysterectomy was performed and TVT implanted by Mr Hextal at Watford General Hospital but is based at St Albans City Hospital. I woke up after surgery with a very tight sensation across my groin and complained. An ultrasound scan of my bladder was done on the ward before discharge, it showed incomplete emptying. I was given antibiotics and assured things would settle.

June 2005 At my follow up with Mr Hextal I saw a registrar who dismissed my pelvic pain, bladder pain and my assertion that my clitoris did not the same as it did by telling me, ‘It all looks very pretty down there.’ This made me suffer in silence for a while.

GP refers me as I keep getting urinary tract infections and blood in my urine.
February 2007  I see the urodynamic nurse under Mr Hextal at St. Albans City Hospital.
April 2007. I see gynaecology at St. Albans for bladder and groin pain, they suggest physiotherapy. I undertake physiotherapy.

My Rheumatologist writes to Mr Hextal asking for information on my Gynaecological operation because of my continued bladder and pelvic pain. Prof Graham doesn’t mince his words and suggests that the operation Mr Hextal has done has failed.

June 2007. I see gynaecology Mr Hextal St. Albans City Hospital and they suggest Soliferacin or Oxybutynin for continual bladder pain and difficulty in urinating. I continue with physiotherapy.

August 2008. I have cystoscopy under General Anaesthesia at Watford General Hospital to investigate the bladder pain and blood in my urine. Mr Hextal is unable to find the cause of my bladder pain or inflammation. I am put on antibiotics long term.

September 2008. I have scan of bladder US Urinary tract (for blood in urine and pain) –  I’m told that all is okay. GP tells me that I can be treated privately by a college who specialises in bladder complaints at the Spire Bushey Hospital.
GP refers me to Bushey Spire Hospital – Mrs M Rushton, bladder specialist.

January 2009 Cystoscopy and bladder massage to stop the bladder from being in spasm and calm it down, I was told this would relive the tension I felt – as my bladder had gotten into a ‘bad cycle’. This actually worked for months.

December 2009 – UTIs continue although still on antibiotics and bladder pain, problems with urination and more.

January 2010 Referred by GP to The Clementine Churchill Hospital in Harrow, London. I saw Dr Agarwal for bladder pain with blood in urine – only now no infection was being found. Another cystoscopy and bladder biopsy. Dr Agarwal diagnoses me with Interstitial Cystitis and gives me diet sheets to follow to help my symptoms.

Thankful to have some answers I followed the diet sheets religiously, but they do not help much, and symptoms continue.

September 2011. I have a scan of Abdomen and US transvaginal scan at Hillingdon – GP request because of constant UTIs, blood in urine and pelvic pain. I’m given Diazepam in attempt to calm the bladder down. I’m told everything is fine no cause of bladder pain.

February 2012 My GP referred me back to Mr Hextal at St. Albans City Hospital/Hemel Hempstead. 
However, at that time because I felt they were not listening to me, I asked to be referred elsewhere so GP referred me to Prof. Linda Cardozo MD at Kings College Hospital, London for bladder investigations.
August 2012 – November 2013
Prof. Linda Cardozo organised for me to have US transvaginal scans, physio, diet help and urodynamics tests. I saw a range of professionals and had a cystoscopy under General Anaesthetic and bladder biopsy.

The results can only be viewed with suspicion as Prof. Cardozo describes a  womb with no sign of mesh erosion. I cannot comment on whether she could see mesh erosion but I do know that a hysterectomy does remove the womb permanently.

No cause could be found for blood in urine or my bladder pain at Kings College Hospital. Although Specialist Physiotherapist, Janet O’Toole and the Urogynaecology Nurse Rose Orako both felt that my symptoms did not correlate with Interstitial Cystitis still no one mentioned that the mesh could be the problem.

April 2014 First cycle of Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome found me with antibiotic sensitive ecoli in my bladder on admission to Watford General hospital. Under the endocrine dept my bladder issues then became secondary to weight loss, jaw and ear pain, gout, rectum dysfunction and vomiting with major chest pain/lung disease. *I decide to take myself off the antibiotics – they weren’t helping me keep clear of infection and I needed to decrease my medication and opiate use.

March 2015. GP referred me back to The Clementine Churchill Hospital in Harrow to investigate ongoing bladder pain, blood in urine, outbreak of nasty cysts and insane outer vaginal itching with no cause. I was under the care of Mr Kamal Iskandar who was able to prescribe Lidocaine gel for the itching.

Unfortunately, I was found to be too poorly to be operated on at this hospital as they have no A&E and I was referred back to St Albans in November 2017 after another US transvaginal scan at request of GP in November 2015 and further UTIs.

I was released from Watford General to the care of University College Hospital London to investigate from March 2016 to Sept 2018 I was under Dr Natalia Zarate-Lopez. It was felt that my constipation could be contributing to my bladder issues. My bowel was  investigated, Dyssynergia and slow transit diagnosed and bowel retaining undertaken. Blood is found in my bowel movements and urine.

November 2017. Under Mr Hextal at St. Albans City Hospital I had more urodynamics tests under Nurse led Gynae Clinic. A cystoscopy under spinal anaesthetic, cyst removal and biopsy showed no real reason for bladder pain but again showed inflammation.

November 2018 Mr Hextal performed laparoscopy under spinal anaesthetic to check the TVT but no erosion could be seen of my bladder as the TVT couldn’t be seen, my ovaries had cysts on so he was able to operate on these.

April 2019 After an attempt at installations of medication directly into the bladder (very, very painful) and more urodynamic tests, at a consultation with Mr Hextal, I provided evidence that my Rheumatologist had requested another operation other than the TVT with the hysterectomy (back in 2004) and that the problems I’d had ever since could and should have been attributed to the TVT. Dr Hextal referred me to Oxford.

January 2020 Dr Natalie Price at the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford. To start investigations into the bladder issues I am having and will look into whether the mesh can now be removed.

 

https://secure.avaaz.org/en/community_petitions/World_Health_Organization_medical_devices_World_wide_inquiry_about_the_safety_of_medical_mesh/

 

Disabled/Differently Abled, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, Ethics, Health, love, mens rights, mental health, mesh, right to healthcare, sex, unextraordinarybint, united kingdom, womens rights

Mesh? TVT? The Right to a Full Sex Life.

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Trans-vaginal tape is the term used to described the plastic mesh placed during bladder surgery. It is basically a strip of unfinished plastic mesh just like below. It is placed around the bladder in a special procedure using long needles and brute strength. 

TVT is usually implanted to help secure the bladder against leaks of urine, it is used as a sling between the pelvic bone cavities. It was ‘designed’ to support and lift. It cuts off the flow of blood, urine and feeling to the area depending on it’s position. The loss of flow is intermittent, so one can go from calm to complete groin spasm in milliseconds.

So this, one second it’s fine then spasm, starts an onset of unbearable urgency. It gets so unreliable that eventually you are either unable to urinate or can’t stop urinating! Also urination becomes extremely painful. It is a similar situation with sexual performance.

 

Above is a picture of the mesh which was installed into me – as you can plainly see it is the same polypropylene that fishing nets are made from (link below). That is the same polypropylene which they say is dangerous for our environment and marine life (link below).

It has caused a lot of damage to the human beings it’s being installed into.

This is mesh plastic, very useful stuff but unfortunately toxic.

 

There is an alternative operation. There is no need to maim people. This plastic mesh surgery is just a new version of an old and well practised operation to help women after childbirth. The old operation was successful for hundreds of years but took more time.

In the past, Colposuspension was the most commonly performed operation for the treatment of stress urinary incontinence. This is a major operation that requires a general anaesthetic. The abdomen is opened and the bladder neck is lifted upwards by stitching the lower part of the front of the vagina to a ligament behind the pubic bone.

I was given TVT suspension during a hysterectomy to remove my womb and the plastic mesh was heat sealed inside me as you cannot sew stitches into it. This was all performed under general anaesthetic.

It was years before I clicked I’d been duped. Although there had been immediate problems things felt different as I no longer had a womb. So, you could say that I was fairly satisfied. Believing that my continual bladder and bowel problems were normal after a hysterectomy and to be fair, I was told they were normal by my GP.

However, approximately ten years after implant I started to have continual vomiting. They diagnosed Chronic Vomiting Sickness. But, numerous other, now called ‘mesh related’ symptoms appeared too, other auto immune problems. 

The Gynaecologist didn’t tell me TVT mesh may trigger a reaction with my body. I was not told it is a poison which leaches into flesh over time. I was not told it is only guaranteed for fifteen years and then they didn’t know what would happen! This is something to consider if you are offered plastic mesh for any invasive procedure.

Being around noise of almost any level began to hurt, affecting my ears and jaw. I started to not be able to attend my normal social events or even restaurants. Now, fifteen years later, I cannot eat food I used to because I can’t chew for long without it affecting my ears.

My ears now suffer from constant hypersensitivity.  I became reactive to nearly all my medications and unable to eat an ongoing amount of foods. Constant urinary tract infections with blood constantly present as well as other less describable things.

This has to be said, sorry I’ll say it as delicately as possible but basically my back end and front end started behaving erratically. It started to get difficult to sit comfortably. I kept getting cystitis without having had vigorous sex.  My GP sent me to the sexual health clinic although I told him I’d not been able to and even brought along the boyfriend!

They sent me back stating I did not have an STD. I officially complained then spent next few years having investigation after investigation. Not one consultant or hospital told me that it could be the TVT mesh. However, it is continually mentioned on my surgical notes.

Now I have learnt that it was a plastic mesh tape of device. I know that some plastics harden over time and can become brittle. Once the chemicals holding them together have been leached into the surrounding body the plastic mesh starts to disintegrate.

Fifteen years after implant I am rarely able to have sex. If I do the only position achievable would be missionary and then I cannot abide any pressure on or in my pelvis at all. Now, where is the joy in that?

Being a confident woman I liked being on top and used to enjoy the freedom that my extra flexibility gave me. However, it seems the TVT plastic mesh does not allow for too much movement so it’s lie back and stare at the ceiling.

Being so flexible was doable when I could keep my muscles strong. Not so if you are stuck at home waiting for the NHS to remove something they never should have placed in you to begin with. Muscle wastage is a real problem as walking is not possible. Typed through gritted teeth…

I am being truly honest when I tell you I was looking forward to years of guilt free, mature, steamy, sex as not having a womb I wouldn’t have to worry about contraception. Ahhh, how naive was I?

Anyone reading this should understand the kind of money involved in this plastic medical mesh industry. Last year the industry was worth 6.7 billion dollars. If you are considering mesh implant for hernia or pelvic surgery you will be told not to take any notice of people like me. You may even be told there is no alternative.

You will be told that the problem is minor and that the sufferers blow their symptoms up for attention. I know this as daily I read a Facebook page called Slingthemesh. It’s a support group. Generally it is full of heartbreaking stories of the mesh maimed.

Perspective patients come into the group, they tell us that they’re offered this treatment and what they have been told about us. I’m just going to tell you that there are millions of sufferers of TVT, TOT bladder sling, hernia mesh, pelvic prolapse mesh blanket, mesh tape and other new names they are thinking up of to stay ahead of the law suits.

You are not going to read very many personal stories about how the mesh has affected it’s victims. Most victims being too embarrassed or completely unaware of why we are having the problems! Some have won massive payouts and are not allowed to talk to public. Most victims don’t have a blog where they can share.

Having always had a varied and satisfying sex life it is a shock to be without it. Of course I get on with my life. There are much worse things. I’m thoughtful of the fellow souls in a similar position for the same or different reasons. But understanding it doesn’t mean I have to like it and put it with it in a gracious manner.

My membership to Kestrels goes unused and my right arm is killing me.

I’ve checked my rights and I’ve no right to sex but I have the right to express my sexuality. That’s nice but not helpful. In the mean time I’m thinking of doing a critique of my favourite porn videos… and the lack of choice from a female user of the industry.

Ah I just came across a blog page funded by super big organisations telling us their plans to dominate the hernia ‘industry’ be careful out there folks!

Thanks for reading.

http://www.toxicswatch.org/2008/11/toxic-leaching-from-polypropylene.html

https://www.memphisnet.net/product/4040/nets-seine-knotted-9  (industrial use mesh)

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/johnson-johnson-agrees-to-117m-settlement-over-pelvic-mesh-devices/

http://inthesetimes.com/article/13353/a_female_surgical_nightmare?

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/johnson-johnson-agrees-to-117m-settlement-over-pelvic-mesh-devices/

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2018-07-surgical-mesh-implants-autoimmune-disorders.html

https://www.drugdangers.com/transvaginal-mesh/brands/

https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/161987861/posts/29642

 

Health, mesh, right to healthcare

Could TVT be Considered the Western Equivalent of FGM? – Article

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Thousands of women in the United Kingdom are unable to have sex because of Johnson & Johnson’s mesh implants. Many are severely disabled too.

Research has shown that the medical profession within the NHS has known that the so called, minimally invasive operation, affects blood flow to the clitoris. In some cases it reduces it and other cases it can increase it…

Women are not warned of this common side effect of the mesh implant and as yet, no person has been able to gain any legal compensation, in the UK, from the medical authorities for damages due to mesh.

The plastic, polypropylene, in the mesh takes years to break down and start cutting back into the bodies connective tissue around the bladder and pelvic bone. The time limit on medical device damage is three years. There is no legal pathway to sue for damages in the United Kingdom – regardless of the stories run across social media.

There is no legal right to enjoy sex or intimate relations so it is also impossible to sue the doctors or the government for loss or damages on this account.

The NHS estimates that there are thousands of women suffering with the mesh who have yet to realise the cause of their troubles as the medical profession has not kept a log of whom they have fitted the devices in.

Many hospitals, clinics, doctors and consultants have made a good living by performing several investigative surgical procedures on women complaining of bladder or vaginal pain. With one women undergoing thirteen separate procedures, three at a private hospital paid by the NHS, to investigate the bladder when the bladder mesh was the obvious and continually overlooked cause.

One gets to the point where the consideration for the movement to ban the TVT is strong enough and there are several calls for recall in the United States. Johnson and Johnson are currently in highest court answering questions on this barbaric procedure.

The comparisons with female genital mutation (FGM) are present. Whilst FGM is illegal and ought to be, the fitting of the TVT is legal and advised as ‘healthy’. Patients are not informed of the risk. No one seems to care that informed consent is not being followed in NHS hospitals.

Essentially the TVT does the same thing to women as FGM. Fitting the TVT cuts the blood flow to the clitoris therefore making orgasm impossible or extremely painful for the women involved. It should also be noted that penetrative sex becomes more painful and difficult with a TVT fitted as the plastic shrinks closing the vaginal entrance.

The operations are done under the guise of helping the woman when it is known that the implant and the operation itself is not safe. I checked this morning before writing this piece and the operation including the plastic mesh is still being implanted in NHS hospitals and the associated paperwork does not mention the lack of blood flow to the clitoris.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0090429507005821

We need to start protecting our citizens from companies like Johnson & Johnson – they have no scruples. Our national health service is paying the price, a far too heavy a price, as the removals of these mesh devices take hours in surgery and leave the patient very ill.

Whilst I understand that many will see FGM as being a barbaric tradition at some point TVT should also be viewed as the same. As women we must stand up and be counted and listened to. FGM horrifies anyone civilised and yet the same civilised people turn away from those of us who have been damaged by mesh…

I ask for change and for the medical profession to stop profiling women as moaning about nothing and diagnosing sufferers with ‘faulty pain signals’. Its’ time for the government to get a grip with these companies and get control of the NHS back from those that don’t care and don’t listen.

I’d also like to see a change in the press. The media is awash with false stories and the TV adverts are constant regarding wetting one self…as if it is normal. Extremely short turn around after giving birth is probably the reason many women suffer from incontinence, it’s not rocket science.

In the UK, under our NHS system, women are discharged from hospital the same day and are often able to take it easy with a new baby. Gone are the two weeks bed rest.

It’s not rocket science.

The TVT and mesh slings implanted into soft tissue have scared, maimed and disabled the women they’ve been placed in. The surgeon removing them knows the damage is worse or similar to the damage done by FGM, it goes further into the body…

Samantha “unextraordinarybint” Harris is a writer based in United Kingdom.

Disabled/Differently Abled, Equality, Health, mental health, policy and allocation of funds in uk, womens rights

Chastity 2019 NHS England Stylie

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The Tension Vaginal Tape or otherwise known as fashionablefaithgroups answer to chastity in the 21st century. How have these gynaecologist been allowed to get away with charity status and no taxes as well as damaging the patients?

I would like to applaud NHS England’s stand on chastity in the United Kingdom. It managed, without one protest, to stop thousands of women in the UK having sex.

Women on a ‘sex ban’ because of the TVT have no option but to conform. Their partners and themselves get damaged by intercourse. What kind of Government allows it’s healthcare service to do this to it’s women. This tape is torment, I hate mine, it stops me doing so many things, walking in th woods is very sorely missed.

What kind of Government would do this indeed. Perhaps a government which has been lining it’s pockets whilst in parliament rather than working for it’s constituents? This seems to be the unwritten law for politicians. Once in office they don’t do anything for normal folk.

Thousands of women have been fitted with TVT, men and women have suffered through the Starr program. These kind of experimental treatments is not what the NHS was supposed to be for. We should not have been used as lab rats for surgeries which had not been performed on humans before. It’s wrong. And now to belittle patients is worse.

What has happened the NHS??? When are the Government going to do something? DNA samples taken without permission, treatments given according to new and bizarre medical evidence. We are heading back towards the dark ages but will it end when we leave Europe or get worse?

I’m real scared it is going to get worse.

real pagans

NHS Magic – The Re-appearing Womb.

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The UK Government is denying there is a problem with their systems. I would suggest that it spends some time listening. Twenty years of pain and eleven operations to ‘investigate’ mysterious bladder pain, when they know it’s the system.

Disabled/Differently Abled, Health, lung and heart disease, mesh, policy and allocation of funds in uk, right to healthcare, unextraordinarybint, united kingdom, womens rights

Oh, I Could Strangle a Dolphin!

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They scan sea-life that has been caught in plastic to check for the tumours plastic causes. They remove the plastic which has become entangled around the desperate creature’s bodies.

Scientists carefully remove the tumours before releasing them back into the water to enjoy the world. Thankfully the same marine biologists then monitor the health of the animal to ensure it recovers from the horror and attempt to do it all gently to avoid more trauma.

It is all heart-breaking. The amount of plastic in our environment which has not been disposed of properly. It has found it’s way into our oceans and is harming Earth’s wildlife and our environment.

The oil industry, which plastic is a by product of, move someway in some areas to help with the clean up with donations to ocean preservation charities and such like.

If I were to share a picture of a dolphin with plastic wrapped around it all my friends would share it in a moment because the Brits love animals. The BBC employ a huge posh orchestra to play alongside the programs we are screened for animals.

So why do they leave humans with the plastic inside them? – I am told to stop being dramatic and the medical profession are insisting that any tumours are coincidental. So, yeah, I’d like to strangle a dolphin.

Would that get me some of that media attention? Some attention from my friends and perhaps the doctors? Nope, it would just get me very wet and bloody – and they would probably arrest me for cruelty to animals.

I’d still be left with the plastic in me…and all the things I am not getting used to living with. The no sex for instance… bizarre that the only position we can achieve is the missionary.

The worse one for me is the pads. It’s embarrassing wetting and pooing yourself when you have only just turned 50 years old. Also they are so expensive. My GP could prescribe them but says he can’t. I use the big thick pads and they get used up quickly.

I can see you thinking about the fluffing kittens and gorgeous dolphins already. But this shit is important – pardon the pun. There are men younger than me stuck in the same position because of mesh used for their hernia’s.

Obviously, there is the pain relief. The judgement from everyone. The wheelchair etc. That’s not the half of it though. I’m denied basic rights and services too. Rights which I am entitled to under UN convention and these are all being stomped over.

I am often unable to get my medication – because they don’t have it or it is too expensive. Like nutrition milkshakes because I find it very difficult to eat. Even though nutritionist said I was to have them. At the moment they are unable to get me my HRT and using Brexit as excuse…

I’m in so much pain. I have to beg for pain relief and often prescriptions will run out before you are allowed to get another. Especially with the controlled drugs…pain killers.

They will not prescribe them before you need them. Fair enough. I am on 72 hour patch. I order on Friday. I run out on Monday but the doctor has a three day turnaround on prescriptions so…I can pick up my new patches on the Weds, I could go on.

Often the green sheets say you have been given medication you have not. My scan results are hidden from me – the dolphins and sea-life get more consideration.

I have TVT (put in 2005 plastic) and more painfully, if that were possible, a Stapled Hemorrhroidopexy. I feel ill. It was not the surgery my Rheumatologist requested for me. I already had Ehlers Danlos a serious problem with my collagen.

I use a stick and wheelchair where I can. Media is lying about pay outs…no we are just all dying slowly and painfully. As far as I am aware, at this moment in time not one person in the UK has had any recompense. I’m unsure why they would lie.

Disability awards in the UK. I keep getting temporary awards. Then the government decided to reduced payments. I was able to take my ID from my purse unassisted.

Gratefully I was assigned a support worker for a while to help me through the appeal. The governement then accepted the appeal, just before the appeal court date. They decided to award it but for just 18 months.

As it is tied in with your universal credit and rent payments this is a real tiresome chore.

They now say I have had the support worker for too long. It’s been over a year. I still have not had a referral for the removal of the plastic. I have not had any medical help other than trying really rubbish drugs and some physio therapy which caused the plastic tension vaginal tape to snap within me.

In my borough they have implemented a system called the Single Fraud Prevention Intervention and it only runs on housing benefit claimants. So we have to be proactive to gain our benefits. So for instance, if we don’t turn up for an appointment our benefits are stopped etc. Disabled people are included this program.

The benefit agency does not have disabled parking. I threw up in their staff toilets as their toilets were upstairs and there was no lift for the wheelchair. It was terrible. The staff have agreed that I do not need to attend to the office again.

I have tried to find out how to get an indefinite award but told I’m unlikely to qualify as I don’t have one of the qualifying illnesses but can’t find out what the qualifying illnesses are. Online Government pages says HIV and other serious illnesses like Diabetes are on the list.

I was asked to do a statement regarding my mesh – the plastic inside me. This was it. No dolphins were harmed during the writing of this blog piece.

real pagans

Upton Road Mental Health Services

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Upton Road, My Mental Health Consultation


According to both the docs I saw at Upton Road yesterday, I’m not mentally ill. I’m just dealing with a lot of difficult things and I am disassociating and seeing things because I’m so anxious, stressed and angry at the world.

I’m aware it is happening. Although I can understand what is happening, I am struggling to deal with the day to day manifestations. During my first consultation NHS mental health services they’ve told me they won’t be able to help me because I’m aware of my issues.

My angry is not the ‘right type’ of anger to be helped. After over two years waiting, two assessments and yesterday’s ‘consultation’ I was told unless I can find some funds to help with the costs, there wasn’t any help available. It seems being aware of one’s problems means you’re okay. I’m chronically ill. This complicates things because of medication intolerances, I can only take certain medications and usually only via liquid or skin patch.

I generally cope but the last few years it’s been getting harder. Admitting to stock piling drugs, plotting revenge attacks and wanting to slice my throat open with a glass smashed on the floor in frustration, is difficult, especially when you’ve just met. As was the case with this consultation. Feeling so close to really losing it will make you seem desperate, because you are exactly that. No one would share this stuff with people unless they had to.

So, I was reaching out for help. Shoot me. Surely, anyone would be ‘aware’ to do that? In fact in order to get seen by NHS mental health services you have to go and see your GP first, then attend an assessment and then wait for a consultation or treatment. Picking up a phone, or searching online, show a sense of awareness of a problem from the patient seeking help.

Let’s just say that the docs I saw yesterday were really correct and true with what they said. Why are the NHS mental health services treating alcoholism, eating disorders, transgenders, drug users and paedophiles? They are usually aware of their problems. I’m pretty sure they have to admit to their problems in order to get help. I’m sure some are forced into help but I think my point is made.

Previously I’ve been diagnosed with depressive disorder, ptsd, personality disorder and now I’ve been re-diagnosed with ‘unstable emotional disorder’ without any real time spent actually talking with me. I feel utterly deflated. Even something simple like writing to the correct GP seems beyond this clinic.

I would like to start going out again, become part of society in real terms. Not just online. My problems are so bad I cannot abide music or crowds, I cannot sleep well and have problems with eating as my throat is closed – apparently though anxiousness. I have impulsive thoughts constantly to do dangerous things. I want to lash out. It’s exhausting not reacting to the impulses.

I feel that writing this was more therapeutic than the time spent with the patronizing doctors who believed that I don’t deserve any help because I managed to drag myself into the bath, brush my hair and made eye contact.

Being able to see your life and sanity slipping away doesn’t mean it’s okay, it’s not okay. I’m not okay. Not being able to stand people close to you, even when you love them, is not okay.

Perhaps it really is that I am classed as mentally fit. If that is so then why would both these doctors say money would help me get the correct treatment? They agreed a psychologist could help but stated clearly that wasn’t available, in my case, apparently not provided on the NHS, but isn’t a psychologist mental health doctor? Who are other patients seeing?

I know I need help. It’s hard not to be paranoid that they are trying to make you worse. Perhaps they are trying to push you over the edge in order to earn more money when you become an inpatient? I joke but not really. These are my real feelings and emotions, constantly kept in check.

Last time I felt like this I ended up trying to commit suicide several times and ended up as an inpatient for three weeks. I really am desperately trying to avoid this course of action as I have people who care about me.

Where do I go from here?? I write, thank fully I can still do that. Maybe I’ll get super successful and be able to pay the £380 an hour to see a doctor.

Disabled/Differently Abled, Health, policy and allocation of funds in uk

Stitched up so far, The Famous UCLH

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So I learned how to spell, pronounce and the meaning of a new word today.

Recto enterocele is a bit of a mouthful and it’s meaning is full of implication.

It was discovered by my Gynaecologist – at another hospital, during a Laparoscopy, looking into the vaginal mesh implant I have and examining my ovaries and bladder. My ovaries were okay, a few adhesions but some draining and slicing left them looking healthy apparently and my vagina, , tubes and pelvic area looked healthy according to notes and following letter but as I mentioned, I do have recto enterocele. Not sure how I can look healthy and have this thing but that’s what the letter says.

It seems I’m unlucky in medical terms. I don’t have easy things to fix. Mainly because they tend to cross over between medical disciplines. A recto enterocele involves the bowel and the vagina. It isn’t an uncommon thing. I have had all the symptoms for over three years now. It is not rare for women to have these things so I’ve no idea why I’ve been left in pain so long with it.

And here’s the rub. I’ve actually been under Gastroenterology and been continually waved on by my consultant. Only having to manage to stay being seen by her with arguing with her staff to be seen and complaining to the hospital about her lack of attention. I’m due to see her tomorrow. I’m anxious.

Let me tell you about her clinic. I was desperate to get to it for starters. I’d been in another hospital for ten days being sick and losing weight quickly. They hadn’t worked out what was wrong with me but as I had an appointment with this clinic which was supposed to be specialist in my Ehlers Danlos connective tissue disorder it was felt I should be discharged into their care.

It was felt I needed a colonoscopy at least and other investigations to get to the cause of the vomiting . Was it linked to my constipation? My stomach itself was fine other than peptic ulcers and gastritis. Which, although unpleasant, not usually known for causing constant vomiting. Major nausea and rib pain. Also having blood and mucus in my poo and even pushing out a fart being excruciatingly painful.

I went to see the clinic at UCLH and Dr so and so. Initially things went okay and the Consultant seem to understand what was going on with me and arranged some tests for a return visit. On the return visit I had to undergo a strange lecture on how the anus works and the important of correct food etc. I explained that I had qualifications in nutrition and biology and although appreciated I didn’t understand how showing me a diagram of the bowel working correctly was particularly helpful in my case.

I did voice my concerns and explained that I had seen a nutritionist at the hospital and that my diet and lifestyle were not responsible for my sickness or extremely painful bowel movements. The male foreign nurse did not understand English very well and I felt is was just something I had to get through. I was happy that my daughter was present as I felt he really didn’t understand or choose to ignore what I was saying to him.

To be fair I was feeling grateful, I was told that some tests were being arranged for me and I would here in good time and return for the tests. Some weeks later I returned for the first of three tests arranged for me. This was a balloon test with an electric probe test. I made the mistake of attending on my own.

There was a woman present during the test. I’m not sure what her role was supposed to be but I felt she was not a compassionate woman as I pleaded with her to stop him from continuing the test as it was so painful. It was the male nurse who I had seen previously. I didn’t feel confident that he was doing the test. He seemed unable to communicate to me what was going on. I did ask him to stop the test. I felt that he did not listen to me at all. I was left crying, upset, and bleeding from my rectum. I was told it was my own fault for the bleeding as I had a sensitive anus.

I was distraught after this test. I found it very difficult to attend the next ones. They were badly scheduled too with only a week or two between them. One of them I had to try and poo in an MRI machine. yep.  No, I couldn’t do it. I started throwing up in the MRI machine and got taken out of there in a wheelchair I became so ill. I hadn’t had enough time to prepare and empty my bowel properly before they put up the jelly I was supposed to poo out. Also just pushing my anus in an outward movement really hurts so much that vomiting seems the only way my body knows how to handle that sort of pressure.

The other test involved eating loads of metal objects to see where they were in a weeks’ time. Guess what they were still all in me! Slow transit for sure! So one test come back with results which meant something to me as the other tests were not able to be completed properly as too painful. But no. I did this test just a week before the poo in the machine test….where was the sense in that ? If after ten days the metal bearings are still inside me how was I supposed to empty my bowel in the week before the next test? Then knowing I have problem emptying my bowel they pulled me in twenty minutes before the scan due time to ’empty my bowel’….the pressure was immense.

Anyhow, I needn’t have worried. It seems that I had nothing wrong with me. The tests showed I had no problem pooing in the machine (remember I didn’t actually do this as I got removed from the machine as I was vomiting) and that somehow all was fine with the balloon test and electro probe tests results too. There was no mention of any set of tests or scans being a problem for me. None.

So, this means that, whilst I was telling the uncompassionate male nurse that I could not feel the ‘electric pulse’ only pain that this is a normal occurrence perhaps. Even when he moved it around in my arse and I could still only feel pain and repeated would he now stop. Even when he moved it a little deeper in I could only feel pain to the point where I snapped at the female nurse in the room whether she could hear me as he seemed to not be able to…he then stopped. All that was normal stuff it seems…..

When the consultant met with me to discuss the results and recommend bowel retraining program I was so shocked I didn’t know how to respond. I did the bowel retraining program. I saw her afterwards and again voiced my concerns about the level of pain and that the scan results seemed suspect and that I didn’t understand the balloon and electro probe results. She dismissed me on this again but agreed to send me to see a neurologist to find cause of vomiting and also check on some heart test results which had shown I had a very low blood pressure level, which could be why I pass out. She asked me in an annoyed fashion if I would like her to actually check that there was no damage to my rectum after I voiced concerns that she may be missing something. A rather uncomfortable rectal examination followed where she told me that there was nothing wrong. I felt a little silly.

I’ve been back to the mental health services. I thought maybe I was making it up or somehow I was making myself ill. And of course I’ve learnt how unlucky I have been over the last few months. It seems the TVT they kindly put in as an extra when I had  a hysterectomy is made from silicon.

I didn’t need it, my bladder was fine I had endometriosis and a connective tissue disorder. The TVT caused problems immediately. I lost feeling in my clitoris, had problems emptying my bladder on the ward after the operation and then slowly over the next fifteen years my sex life completely. I did immediately asked for help but was told it was other medications I was on and I was eventually diagnosed with interstitial cystitis in 2009.

Then last year I started reading about the TVT and it’s complications. Until then, from 2006 to 2017 I firmly believed it was what I was eating, drinking etc and my lifestyle which was causing my bladder issues – again seeking help from mental health services because I’m being pushed from one hospital to another attempting to find some relief.

I carry on being sick a couple of times a month these days and try to stand up for more than a few minutes at a time but the pain in my arse, back, abdomen and vagina conspire against me and my legs buckle. I sit and I move slowing to avoid passing out. I sometimes use a wheelchair, I often use a walking stick. I rarely leave the house other than to visit the hospital.

So tomorrow I go and see my Gastro Consultant. I will be armed with a letter from my Gynae saying I have rectoentrocele. I’ve looked up the symptoms and they are painful pooing, wind expulsion, blood and mucus. So I’m going to try not to be too anxious about seeing this so called specialist and then try and be a very patient patient.

She will probably say it’s a Gynae thing. I’ve yet to see my Gynae since the last surgery. So I’m unsure as to whether they will help as it may be a complication of the TVT although the tape itself in intact still thankfully.

I can’t help feeling what a waste of NHS money and my time and all the staff involved in the tests I had done which weren’t carried out properly. They could have been carried out in a way which would have worked I’m sure but the scheduling and the staff and her own attitude was rubbish. Three years and counting. Been off sick on benefits for the last two so I can’t help thinking that under the guise of ‘helping’ the NHS is doing more to make us sick.